Judge — March 22, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

at? B doe | Stoties ‘with Smifes iviés ] Wouldn't Take a Chance.—Robert W. (Chambers, the author, says that a certain their J pan, who lives in a suburban town in New Jersey, is no beauty. He is not only ing and angular, but has a face and com- plexion that neither pale blue, sky yel- low, nor any other color in dress effect will attune to. One day, according to Mr. Chambers, the aforesaid party called to see an ac- qaintance, and, while waiting for him toappear in the parlor, was entertained ty the little eight-year-old son. “Well, what do you think of me?" uked the caller, after conversing several ninutes. Instead of replying, the boy turned side and thoughtfully hung his head. “You haven’t answered me,’’ smilingly persisted the caller, ‘‘Aren’t you going to tell me what you think of me?”’ “No, sir,’’ returned the youngster. “Do you suppose that I want to get a lickin’?""— Philadelphia Telegraph. Making the Trade Even.—At the annual’ fair that is held at a small town in Rus- si, aman observed a gypsy and a Pole haggling over the sale of a horse. When the transaction was over, he asked the tpsy how much he had got for the ani- nil. The gypsy opened his hand and showed a ten-ruble note—worth about fre dollars. “Bat isn’t that very cheap?” said the gypsy. ‘‘The horse is lame. The man then sought out the Pole, to vor Thm he said, “You have given ten nbles for a lame horse.’* i, The Pole smiled knowingly and re- tide J marked, ‘‘He is as sound as youorl. I it, saw he was badly shod, and that was all."” deed, The inquirer returned to the gypsy and t the reported what the Pole had said. The: with a significant wink, the gypsy whis- doit Pred. He's as lame as a two-legged stool! Thad him badly shod on purpose to make people believe that that was the cause of ay. his limp, "* as When the Pole was told this, he seemed fora moment taken aback and hung his bead; then he heaved a sigh and shrugged bee: bis shoulders, “Ah, well,"’ he said, ‘it's all right; it "us a bad ten-ruble note."’— Youth's was Companion. Post froct [J _ A Figment Factory.—Uncle Joe Cannon large (J "88Condemning a discredited muck-raker. t the : No wonder he’s discredited,"’ said a Unele Joe. ‘If he couldn’t make a mag- sak Wine sensation with one type of yarn tside shoot Standard Oil or Sugar, then he'd vbich bring out another type of yarn. three “He reminds me of a tramp who told a nville woman a hard-luck story about agit ing his wife and family and home in e ate "explosion. ‘But,’ the woman said, ‘that isn’t the * me Story you told me last week.’ I know, lady,’ said the tramp; ‘but Every pipe’s a jimmy pipe “'Getting right dow it, "says Hunch, “P. A. & the Indian sign for bie. smoke. You eet on ing terms wi PB Av and- you'll wish you had a jimmy as big the one that tells its It’s about the cheerful- test lever hit. Justbrim- fal of solace and hap- Pinessand content. It's @ real dog—a bent bull— with earmarks of 10 years" service. And fia- vor that just drives you to some more ee early and late! 5c for P. packed with P. A. You enlist in the jimmy pipe army—whether you boss a briar, clay or meerschaum. Just jam it chock full of Prince Albert, make fire with a match—and you've certainly got yours! Prince Albert kicks the grouch right out of any old pipe you ever saw or smoked—or tried to smoke! It tunes ’em up and puts in sweetness and fra- grance and real pipe joy! My, how you can go to that old jimmy NOW! Because Prince Albert never bit any other man’s tongue. And it won't bite yours! The bite’s cut out by a patented process. It just makes men pipe happy ! PRINGE ALBERT the national joy smoke tells its own story in simple words: “It’s the goods.” Realize, men, that it has doubled the number of pipe smokers in a few years. Think how downright delicious it must be, to set pipe-shy men “going toit’ and to bring into line old-timers who suf- fered with “biters” and “ranks” till Prince Albert blazed the way! Winston-Salem, N.C, you didn’t believe last week's story. Washington Star. Just Getting Even.—A commercial trav- eler relates that he was in a post-office up York State when a man came in and bought a half dollar’s worth of stamps. The clerk at the window, as he handed them out, asked, “‘Don’t you want to send something by parcel post?’” **Not to-day.’” “Have a money order this morning “No, thanks.’” ory “Or some postal cards? just came in.” jone to-day.”” Stamped envelopes? A new supply We carry all post-office box or reg- ister a package “‘Not at all."”. And the customer left. The traveling man inquired, ‘‘Who is that fellow?’’ “Oh, he’s a barber,’’ replied the clerk. “Did you hear me get square ?""—Newark Star. f In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com