Judge — March 15, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BZ) EP atekans =e | ately Ca B, 3 AL Passing the Mustard Miserable Anyway.—‘‘I am telling you the trath when 1 say that I was much ier when I was poor than I am now.”” “Then why don’t you let your millions gpand be poor again?” “Why, because I should be miserable of the people who got the ."'—Netroit Free Press. His Claim to Glory.—‘‘What I am to- day Lowe to my wife,’ he said proudly. “Well, what are you?”’ asked the cynic. “I'm the husband of the best bridge player in our neighborhood,’ he replied. —Detroit Free Press. Respecting the Board.—‘‘When Hem- mandhaw’s children don’t learn their les- he spanks them with a paddle."” le does?”” "Yes; and the children call the paddle their ‘board of education.’ ’’— Youngstown Telegram. The Courage for a Negative. —Tommy— Paw, when has a man horse sense? Paw—When he can say ‘‘Nay,’* my son,—Cineinnati Enquirer. Curiosity Satisfied. — Woodchopper — 1 seen a lot o’ bear tracks “bout a mile north o’ here—big ones, too! Hunter—Good! Which way is south? —Chicago News. His Method.—-‘‘ You have never suffered from financial reverses ?’” “No,"’ replied Mr. Dustin Stax. ‘‘Fi- sance is like dancing. When the market nd and goes the other way, you ‘se with it.’’— Washington Star. “I gave up smoking to “Well?”? “Now she says she finds me very unin- teresting.""—Kansas City Journal. A Gambler’s Chance.— Physician —My friend, you have one chance in a hundred tlive, Patient—I always thought these hun- dred-to-one shots had a strange fa for me!—Florida Times-Union, Up to Date.—Mrs. Gadder—What do you know about these people who have toved in across the way? Mrs. Homer—Not a thing, except’ that their name is Gimpus, the man works in © office downtown, the woman gives masic lessons, they take their dinner twice a week at a restaurant, have their Washing done away from the house, and the plumber has been there twice in the last four days to mend leaks in the water Pipes. That’s the way they usually print Aconversation of this kind in the papers, yeuknow, and I don’t want to appear to beaback number.—Chicago Tribune. pAfepoonful of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape makes an ideal appetizing tonic. Sample of eta. in stamps. C. W. Abbott & SMOOTHEST TOBACCO In this uncertain world all things are smooth to “the, man on the inside.” ope Mp s Trawe lO¢TINS ! One hp humidor jars —the American wine that proves champagne can be made in America equal to the imported. Import taxes make foreign wines cost twice. as much—not extra quality. flavor and exquisite bouquet. Sold Everywhere Urbana Wine Co.. Urbana N It has a delicious Two Kinds: Special Dry and Brut Order a Case Today “All wine—no duty’* Sole Maker ATTRACTIVE pictures, full of color and decorative. Pictures that will give a touch of refinement and color to your home. The Judge Art Prints answer this description 225 Fifth Avenue JUDGE Do You Like Miniatures? exactly. A catalog containing reproductions in miniature of the entire Judge Art Print Series will be sent to you upon receipt of ten cents and your name and address. New York In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE: It will be eppreciated. comicbooks.com