Judge, 1913-03-01 · page 9 of 28
Judge — March 1, 1913 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces of satire: **"Cornelia at the Office"** (illustrated): A woman at a desk displays her jewelry collection, captioned "These are my jewels." The satire mocks the "New Woman"—the emerging independent, working woman of the early 1900s. The joke plays on traditional gender roles: rather than a woman's "jewels" being her children (a common Victorian sentiment), this modern office worker proudly displays actual gems, suggesting she prioritizes wealth and career over motherhood. **"The Right Call"** (text story): A miserly sportsman hires "Louis the Indian," a Nova Scotia moose caller, for only one dollar a day (half the standard two-dollar rate). Despite Louis's skilled calls, no moose appear. The setup suggests the punchline will reveal the guide's justified revenge for being underpaid—likely by intentionally failing to bring the moose within range, or similar sabotage. The humor satirizes both cheap employers and working-class cunning. Both pieces reflect early-20th-century anxieties about gender roles and class relations.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
say whether Caruso was singing. I could have told her he wasn’t, because even a dog knows that Caruso’s no goose! The baby is just the same—beautiful and neglected. She has a new front tooth, but I’m the only one who has noticed it! Tuurspay—Bit a piece out of my leash to-day and flew down the subway, so as to make my mistress go after me. Heard her telling some one she had never been in the subway or on the elevated. I felt sorry for her. By the time she caught me she had a pretty good idea of what the interior of the underground road is like! I got aboard acar just before the guard closed the gate. My! How she did scream! Some one grabbed me. From the speed with which I went over that gate, I guess it must have been Christy Mathewson! She made a splendid running catch of me, too—with one hand. It was really quite spectacular! For a moment I was proud of her! I'm going to show her the elevated—first chance I get at my leash. Hope Matty will be there to help me out! Nothing new about the baby, except seven .new bonnets. One new mother and one new father would be better! It’s aw- ful—having a suffragette mother anda brandyette father! But I can’t write about it—I’m too temperamental. Fripay—My mistress is sick with intercostal neuralgia. She got it carrying me around on her chest, with my head sticking out of her coat. She's awful sick, too. The doctor asked her how she got intercostal neuralgia, and she told him she got it sitting up nights with the baby! I made such a funny noise when she said this that the doctor looked at me and winked one eye very fast. (He had seen her walking up the avenue with my head peering out of her coat.) Saturpay—Resolved, that I will no longer keep a diary. Being able to read over my misdeeds of the past makes me think of new ones for the murrow, and I want to be a better dog, 80 as to set the baby a good example. She needs me and I need her, and hereafter I'm going to be an exemplary dog. A Utilitarian. Madge—That old widower asked me to marry him. He praised my figure and said I resembled his first wife. Marjorie—I guess that's the attraction, my dear. you'd be able to wear her old clothes. He thinks CAN'T QUALIFY FOR ADMISSION. CorNELIA AT THE OFFICE—These are my jewels. The Right Call. A PARSIMONIOUS sportsman, shooting over some wild lands in Nova Scotia, being desirous to bring down a moose, started out to engage a guide and moose caller. The usual pay of a Nova Scotia guide is two dollars a day; but the Sportsman in question was too mean to pay the regular rates, and finding a skillful guide, one Louis the Indian, temporarily out of a job, after much wrangling managed to jam him down to one dollar a day, and the two started out into the woods. All the conditions were favorable to finding a moose, but, although each day before sunrise Louis the Indian took his birchbark cone and, placing it to his lips, whined and grunted in imitation of a moose, there was no answering call, no antlered giant of the forest stalked into view. After twenty-odd days of this sort of effort without result, the sportsman grew both impatient and sus- picious, and, calling the guide to his tent, he began to upbraid him. “‘Louis,’’ he said, ‘‘I don’t understand this kind of business. Here we are in the best moose country in Nova Scotia. You are considered one of the best callers in the province. Every day you go out and call and call, yet no moose comes. What does it mean?” The wily Indian took his pipe out of his mouth for a moment and smiled a smile of infinite cunning. “‘Me don’t know what matter,’’ he said. ‘Maybe moose no like dollar call.’” The very next day, our sportsman having raised the ante to two dollars, a moose ‘‘came to the call’’ —the right call this time. Louis was a sly Indian. Can the possessors of made complexions be prose- Thoughtless young father (at maternity hospital) —This is rather a decent place. Wouldn't mind coming here myself. cuted for using artificial coloring matter? comicbooks.com