Judge, 1913-03-01 · page 15 of 28
Judge — March 1, 1913 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical sketches typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Getting Even With Justice"**: A prisoner outsmarts a judge by praising the court after being told he'd be fined for contempt—a clever loophole joke about legal absurdity. **"Rebuked"**: A huge man (Jim Baggs) is completely dominated by his tiny wife Jennie, who controls his spending money and behavior. The satire mocks henpecked husbands and suggests wives hold real domestic power despite physical disadvantages. **"She Knew"**: A child reveals that the "important part" of church is the collection, not the sermon—satirizing both childhood innocence and possibly clergy priorities. **"St. Patrick's Day"**: Brief verse mocking Irish-Americans' stereotype of excessive drinking on March 17th. **"The Difference"**: Political satire distinguishing suffragists (wishbone = desire without backbone) from suffragettes (backbone = militant action). This reflects the contemporary women's suffrage debate and the more aggressive tactics of British suffragettes. The page reflects period attitudes toward marriage dynamics, religion, Irish immigrants, and women's political activism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Getting Even With Justice. HE PRISONER at the bar of the po- lice court was sore over his treat- ment and could not conceal it wholly. “If I should express my opinion of this court, your honor,”’ he said, rising from his chair, ‘‘would you fine me for contempt?”’ “I certainly should!’’ responded the judge decisively. “Thank you,’’ bowed the prisoner. “I wish to extend my congratulations to your honor and all those connected with the court for the very fair and impartial trial Thave received at your hands.”” Then the prisoner sat down and the jadge was flabbergasted. Rebuked. He gave palpable evidence of weighing at least two hundred and forty and he towered six feet four inches into the air. “Can't you remember the piece | mean, Mary? Miss Whats-Her-Name played it that night at the Thingerings. Ee ae beeen Ty | tte He looked as if the champion heavyweight of the prize ring might go down before him like a reed before the wind. By his side stood a little woman of five feet ten and possibly ninety pounds in weight. She had the meek and subdued look of a woman who had borne much. While they waited for their car on a corner, a passer- by heard the giant say, “Can't you let me have a quarter, Jennie?” Jennie’s voice cut the air like a blade as she said, “Now, see here, Jim Baggs, didn’t I tell you before we left home that ten cents was all I intended you should have to spend? I sure did, an’ I should think you had been married to me long enough to know that when I say a thing I mean it! I think I see you havin’ a whole quarter to fool away on seegars an’ such stuff! Now you make any more fuss and you'll stay at home the next time I come to town!’” MM. M. ENLIGHTENING. She Knew. The minister was visiting at the home little Alice. “Did you go to church with mamma and papa to-day, my dear?’’ he asked. “Yes, sir,’’ said Alice; ‘‘an’ we got there at the most important part.’” “Indeed said the minister, aglow with anticipation. ‘*And what was that y sermon?’’ ‘No, sir; the collection.” On St. Patrick's Day. Though as a nation records show That we grow wiser every day, On March the seventeenth we know That lots of greenness we display. The Difference. “*Paw, can you tell me the difference between a suffragist and a suffragette?” “*Yes,myson. A suffragist is a woman who has the wishbone and the suffragette is a woman who has the backbone.”” It begins at the bottom of the piano and goes lam-tum-tumty-tum-tah.” comicbooks.com