Judge, 1913-03-01 · page 12 of 28
Judge — March 1, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This **Judge** magazine piece satirizes the expense and pretension of American diplomatic life. The cartoon depicts a social gathering where diplomats entertain, illustrating the article's central complaint: ambassadors earn only $17,500 annually yet must maintain millionaire lifestyles to represent the nation abroad. The satire targets several absurdities: 1. **The mistletoe comment** — The State Department Secretary's sardonic remark about ambassadors behaving like "monkeys and milliners" (frivolous dressmakers) critiques their undignified conduct at official events. 2. **The salary paradox** — Ambassadors must be wealthy enough to finance their own diplomatic expenses, reducing their government salary to mere "tips for servants." 3. **Diplomatic vulnerability** — The piece mocks how fragile an ambassador's status is: breaking palace teacups makes one *persona non grata* (unwelcome), a humiliating fall from such an elevated position. The accompanying witticisms provide cynical social commentary on divorce, romance, and human nature, typical of Judge's satirical style.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IN WASHINGTON, D. C. If we acted on the advice of our hostess and made ourselves ‘‘ at home."’ official report. Across the back of the report, the Secretary wrote: “‘All this needs is a sprig of mistletoe on the hat.’’ This indicated he State Department's conviction that it had no objection to the amount of tea the ambassadors drank, but that it did not approve of their doing a work which com- bined the talents of monkeys and milliners. Wherefore, our diplomats sgill have to wear the common, ordinary evening clothes, As the salary of an American ambassador is only $17,500 a year, he must be a millionaire. He is expected to hand his pay envelope to his major-domo, to be divided as tips among the servants. He realizes that his remuneration from the gov- ernment is merely a nominal sum. In the past, men who have inherited their money have been grabbing off the ambassadorial jobs. An inheritor is trained from his early youth as a carpet performer, and he can walk on the rugs of the highly polished floors of the palace without immediately adopting the idea that he is in a skating rink. le If you ever slip up on a palace polished floor or break a teacup bearing the royal arms, you be- come persona non grata—which, in real English, means good-night! BEAUTIFUL SNOW There are only ten countries to which we send ambassadors, and, by the same token, there are only ten Americans who can be ambassadors at the same time—which is fortunate. These officials are called, in other languages, embajador, ambassiator and ambasciatore—proving that such a job is an awful drop for a man who started out in his boyhood with the ambition to become a first baseman. From This Viewpoint. [8 PIVORCING a fool and his money, most of us are willing to be named as corespondents. The man who really has money to burn is seldom the one who burns it. When some women kiss each other, they make Judas look like a piker. The only female in the world who has no kick coming is the mermaid. There is nothing lovers enjoy more than a moonlight night, unless it is a night when there is no moon, When a young man is inclined to be fast, there is generally a wom- an to set the pace.—s. s, Stine. Many women, many fads. comicbooks.com