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Judge, 1913-01-18 · page 17 of 24

Judge — January 18, 1913 — page 17: what you’re looking at

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Judge — January 18, 1913 — page 17: Judge, 1913-01-18

What you’re looking at

This story satirizes a female passenger's irritating ignorance and relentless questioning aboard a ship. "Madam James" (nicknamed "Jimmylegs" by the crew) is the sole woman passenger determined to learn everything about maritime life. The humor derives from her comically absurd questions: she mistakes the Southern Cross constellation for a dull shirt-waist pattern, asks if the ship's basement is cooler, questions why a sail is called a "spanker" if nobody spanks it with it, and calls rope "sheets" silly. Captain Hawk endures her "despairing questions" with barely concealed annoyance. The satire targets both her gender-stereotyped ignorance of seafaring and her relentless, overwhelming persistence. The story's comedic tension builds toward her asking to see the equator, which the captain hints (with "ominous leer") will involve some maritime initiation ritual—a traditional sailors' prank on ship crossing.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Memory glorifies “old times” because we look back on youth. For this toast your alass should be filled Old Overholt Rye **Same for 100 yeare’* Mellow as old re- collections — Fragrant as “the rose of yester- day.” Distilled and bot- tled in bond by A. Overholt & Co. Pittsburgh, Pa. Charges EN 1G BRAINS IGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST.— Be An Artist Make Money Drawing Comic Pictures. Letthe world’s famous cartoonist, Eugene Zimmerman, spill a few ideas into your head. Get the Zim Book—it’s chuck full of valuable suggestions. Price $1.00, postpaid. Bound in 3-4 Morocco. Satisfaction guar- anteed. Money back if book returned within 10 days. Ad- dress: ZIM BOOK, Room No, 1149, Brunswick Bldg., New York. Madam Jimmylegs. By HAROLD SKINNER. ADAM JAMES was the name that appeared on the roster. She had boarded the vessel at Port-au-Prince, for Porto Columbia. It was her first voyage. To heighten the novelty of the experience, she had taken passage in an old and weather-bitten ship. Madam James was the only woman on board. Every time she came on deck, the warning was passed from the fore- castle to the wheel house, ‘‘Hist, mate! the Madam Jimmylegs!"" Being a notable person, Jimmylegs was determined. She was determined to learn all about a ship, all about the sea; to encounter in one voyage the ex- periences of alifetime; above all, to see the wonderful Southern Cross. Every- body longs to see the Southern Cross who has never seen it before; nobody was ever known to recognize it on hav- ing it pointed out; few, if any, would wish to see it a second time. Madam Jimmylegs saw the Cross. She didn’t care for the Cross. What! That poor little winky thing, sodull anddim! And not a bit like aCross! How disappoint- ing! Looked more like a shirt-waist pattern! The sailors were only making sport of her. The brutes! She would no more of theirchatter! Captain Hawk had an honest face, bright eyes and such lovely white locks! He would tell her all about the sea. For days she clung to him like a mem- ory, overwhelming him with her unde- spairing questions. How could the ship go against the wind? Wasn’t it much cooler in the basement of the boat? Were there any icebergs in the tropics? And was he quite sure about it? Why did he call that big sail a spanker, when he never spanked anybody with it?) And to think of rope sheets! How silly! What were the sailors doing now? Heaving the log? Where was the log? What! That little tri-shaped board a log? How stupid to call a chip a log! Why did he send a hand into the chains to heave the lead? Wouldn’t a tape line be better? Wasn't it glorious to command a ship? And could he swim? What did he mean by crossing the line? Was it a real line? “That’s the equator, ma’am,”’ said the captain, with an ominous leer. ‘‘A werry wonderful sight, ma’am!”” “Oh!” Jimmylegs caught her breath; her eyes shone with pleasure. “And werry strange !"” “*How interesting!’’ she ran on. ‘‘I have heard so much about the equator, and I'm just dying to see it!”” “*Ya-as, ya-as,’’ chuckled the other; Continued om second succeeding page. INCE THE INTRODUCTION S of the player-piano, its true rank should be measured by the freedom with which it en- ables the performer to express his own musical feelings. The h : = LANO “With the tone you can't forgat’” permits the performer to give his own expression and render effects more akin to the touch of human hands, with the aid of the Behning sensitive, re- sponive “‘pedal'touch.”” If you are interested, write us and ‘we will notify you, where in your town you can sce and hear the Bebning. $750, Style 10 $800, Style 24 $850, Style 28 $900, Style 32 Cash or convenient terms. Liberal allo ance on old planus. Booklet on requ 425 FIFTH AVENUE, N.Y. Entrance 38th S self, nor correctly fi nary everyday sources. SEXOLOGY (UMlastrated) by William H. Walling, A. M., M. D., imparts in a cleat whole- some way, in one volume Knowledge a Young Man Should Me Kaowledge « Young Husbend Should Have. lave. ige a Father Should Impart to His Son. Medical a Musband Should Mave. Knowledge a Young Woman Should Mave. Koowledge « Young Wife Should Have. part to Mer Daughter, Wife Should Have. Ail in One Volume. Illustrated, $2 postpaid Write for “Oiber People’s Opicions,” and Table of Contents PURITAN PUB. CO.. 792 Perry Bldg, Phila. Pa. Wonderfally brilliant. Pure white. Constructed by the Oxy-Hydrogen Purnace. Will cut glass, stand acid and fre tests like real Hare no foil of backing. tn 14& Gold Moancines. Biliancy ‘or by registered price. Money cheerfully refanded if not satisfac 00 eet MAIDEN LANE SALES CO. SA 48-50 Maiden Lane, New York Berney SCHULTZ GINGER ALS ar patter ato From your dealer or seat direct CARL H. SCHULTZ 430-444 First Ave.. MY. Clty comicbooks.com