Judge, 1913-01-11 · page 7 of 24
Judge — January 11, 1913 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces from *Judge* magazine: **"Unembarrassed"** (top): A narrative about a wagon driver who falls off after drinking four whiskeys ("four o' thim"). When asked what cargo he's carrying, he cryptically replies "DYNAMITE!"—suggesting his volatile, unpredictable state while intoxicated. The joke: the driver is himself the danger. **"Passing It On"** (middle): A brief joke about a child whose bumped head is kissed by Uncle Jim. The child then suggests the cook needs the same treatment for her toothache—innocently spreading affection as a cure-all. **"Sure Way"** (bottom): A New Year's joke where Marjorie suggests that if Charlie has bad habits, he should be asked what he plans to *swear off* in the coming year—implying his resolutions will inevitably fail. The caption mocks the human tendency to abandon good intentions. The page's title, "Waist Not, Want Not," appears to reference the cartoon about the cook's toothache, playing on the saying "Waste not, want not."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
UNEMBA Bridget" Kape tight on wid yer billin' an’ cooin’, mum. more than got over the rough place when the team slowed down to a walk, and I stopped the horses and looked back. There was that human waiking-stick coming up on a slow run. I was puffing hard when he came alongside, and I wondered how his eyes still hung Trying to be pleasant, I said, ‘How the deuce did you ever happen to fall off? But I don’t believe you got a much worse jolt than I did If it hasn’t broken everything in. coming over those rocks. up, I miss my guess.’’ He never said a word for a minute, but climbed up, teok the reins, and then turned his onion eyes on me and like one coming out of a dream, “You—danged—fool !"’ “What!"’ I exclaimed. ‘‘Is that my thanks for sticking here and doing your work?”? I might have been a hundred miles away for all he noticed me. He turned slowly and scrutinized the tumbled boxes of his load. Feeling that he wasn’t re- sponsible for his words and action, I muzzled my temper *9 and asked, more friendly like, “‘What you loaded with?"" WAIST NOT, WANT NOT. RRASSED. Don’t moind me. It's meself is afther havin’ had four o' thim."’ Once more he turned those sad, protruding eyes on me, and spoke the last word I ever heard him utter: “‘ DYNAMITE !"" so 8 8 I walked the remaining distance to the camp, think- ing deeply. And the next morning I noticed the gray hairs—six of them, just over the temple. ' Passing It On. When little Bob bumped his head, Uncle Jim gath- ered the youngster in his arms and said, “There! I'll kiss it, and the pain will all be gone.”” Cheerfully smiling, the youngster exclaimed, “Come down into the kitchen; the cook has the tooth- ache.’? Sure Way. Madge—‘‘I'd like to know if Charlie has any bad habits."” Marjorie—‘‘In that case, you’d better ask him to tell you the things he is going to swear off on the New Year."" As the year waxeth, good resolutions wane. comicbooks.com