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Judge, 1913-01-04 · page 25 of 26

Judge — January 4, 1913 — page 25: what you’re looking at

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Judge — January 4, 1913 — page 25: Judge, 1913-01-04

What you’re looking at

This Judge magazine page is primarily **advertising and light humor**, not political satire. The main content includes: 1. **"Passing the Mustard"** — A sentimental poem by Judd Mortimer Lewis depicting a boy's romantic fantasy. Jealous when a neighbor girl sits on his father's knee, he daydreams of rescuing her as a knight, ultimately winning her hand. It's a nostalgic, comedic take on childhood crushes and the gap between reality and imagination. 2. **Short humor pieces** — Three brief jokes about everyday social situations: a dinner guest missing witty banter while eating turkey, a woman unmoved by nature's "immensity" (finding a hippopotamus "cute"), and Mrs. Wombat upset about postal restrictions on ice cream. 3. **Extensive advertising** — For Apenta aperitif water, Behning pianos, Hotel Punta Gorda, Leslie-Judge Company prints, and other products. The page reflects early 20th-century middle-class American values: romance, domesticity, and consumer goods. No specific political figures or events are referenced.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A MOST pleasing and attractive picture— in full color on heavy coated paper—will be sold while they last to Judge readers at 25 cents each. LESLIE- JUDGE COMPANY 225 Fifth Ave. New York Hotel Punta Gorda PUNTA GORDA, FLORIDA A beautiful resort situated on the Gulf Coast, 300 miles south of Jackonsville. An elegant location to spend the win- It has the finest fishing Hotel éntirely ter months. and hunting in Florida. remodelled and renovated and refur- nished. Very moderate rates. This is considered one of the finest resorts in Florida. For further information address RAY PAYNE, Manager 31 Pine Street, New York until December 15, then to Punta Gorda, Florida Passing the Mustard. A Boy's Wish, I was wishin’ just last night that I was a growed-up chap, I was wishin’ just last night that I had my father’s lap; For the girl that lives next door she came over here, an’ she Marched herself across the room an’ perched on my father’s knee. An’ he told her fairy tales of the queen with golden hair, An’ the prince that rescued her; an’ I don’t believe that there Ever was a queen like her, or had hair go thick an’ gold. Lookin’ at her there last night, I wished both of us was old. I did! wished we was growed up— she a princess—an’ that I Was a knight in stovepipe pants; an’ I'd come a-ridin’ by Where they had her locked in jail, an’ I'd hear her give a weep, An’ I'd pull my bronco up by the dungeon door an’ leap To the ground, an’ I would yell as I drawed my trusty blaid, “Lady, do not weep no more! Iam! Don’t be afraid!” An’ I'd hew the witch in half when she met me in the fray, An’ I'd batter down the door an’ I'd bear the maid away. Here But I'd spring a thing or two on the witch no knight of old Ever did! I'd pullagun! would scare her cold! An’ the king would say, ‘‘Brave sir,’” when we got where he was at, “You have saved my daughter's life! How can I pay you for that?’ Then I'd say, ‘‘Your majesty, I but done my duty, sir, An’ we'll call it square if you'll let me be engaged to her.’” Then he'd say, ‘Take her, brave sir!’’ An’ us two our troth would plight, An’ I'd hold her on my knee like fa- ther done last night. —Judd Mortimer Lewis, in Houston Post. I bet that The ay Pig.—‘‘Great dinner, eh?” “You are missing some of the bril- liant repartee at the end of the ever mind. I’ share of the turkey. Herald, getting my Washington Exceptions.—‘‘The immensity of nature strikes every one with the same awed feeling."" “No, it doesn’t. I took a girl to the circus once, and she told me she thought the hippopotamus was cute."’ —Baltimore American. Without the Freezer. —‘‘What’s Mrs. Wombat abusing the govern- ment for now?"’ “*Seems they wouldn’t let her send a gallon of ice cream by parcels post.""—Pittsburgh Post. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE — ON NE feature alone—sen- sitive responsiveness — we have nohesitancy in claim- ing pre-eminence for the ni | fie IANO With the tone you can't forget” This sensitive respevsiveness | of our “pedal touch’? makes | possible personal tone color- | ing. that so far has not been ieved in any other. Aside from devices to obtain accent, rhythm and tone, the per- | former finds every shade of emotion reflected instantly through this pedal control. If you are interested, write us and ‘we will hotify you, where in your town. you can sce a) the Behning. $750, Style 10 $800, Style 24 $850, Styte 28 $900, Style 32 Cash or convenient terma. Liberal aliow- ance on old pianus. Booklet on request. | | 425 FIFTH AVENUE, N. ¥. | Entrance 38th St. a BEHNING PIANO CO. EW BOOKS —“The Hair" diseases and treatment—a lished by the European speci: logy, anatomy, ise recently pub- rsbaug, M.M.D. wonderful results, medical profession.""—Net ye Book, WITH SWORN STATEMENTS and. doctor endorsements, is sent FREE on receipt of 6c. for postage, &c. Address the author, HE. Achershaug, M.M.D., O0Fifth Ave,, New York. | HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS Pare WAREHOUSE jos. 82, 34 and 36 Bleecker Street Branch Warchovaes 20 Beekman Street, New York ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER Rillsend you all newspaper clippings ROMEIKE: IR nee friends. or any subject Ghiwtich doe wear wast to be “ap to date.” E for 100 notices, HENRY Rourixe, 106-110 Seventh ie, New York, ) Ends The Misery Of Wearing Worthless Trusses How 60 Days Trial Is The Only Safe Way To Buy Anything For Rupture Here is something absolulely GUARANTEED to keep rup- ture from coming out—something that docs away with the misery-causing leg-straps and body-springs. its ph: tif Press Cutting Bureau Away With Leg-Strap and Spring Trusses So faras we know, our cuaranteed rupture holder is the only thing of any sind for ructure that yon can get on Self adjusting. Does away with leg stvaps and «pring. Guar- ineldirg when you are work- . Has relievet in case after case Bor 126 ~Cluthe Co. 1256. 23rd Sty New York City It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com