Judge, 1913-01-04 · page 14 of 26
Judge — January 4, 1913 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects humorous anecdotes and jokes reflecting turn-of-the-century American social anxieties and changing mores. **Key content:** - **"A Dreadful Possibility"**: Satirizes anxious aunt Elvira, who obsesses over modest appearance (a hole in her stocking) rather than actual train crash dangers—mocking Victorian propriety's distorted priorities. - **"In the Nuttery"**: A man institutionalized for monetary obsession; likely commentary on Gilded Age greed. - **"An Awkward Apology"**: A teacher mistakes a stranger for a student's parent, highlighting social awkwardness of urban anonymity. - **"Nowadays"**: Parodies the nursery rhyme "Little Miss Muffet," showing "modern" women drinking scotch highball without fear—satire of changing female behavior and the erosion of Victorian femininity. - **"Definition"**: Cynical quip equating political loyalty to job-seeking, reflecting Progressive Era skepticism about corruption. The overall theme mocks both Victorian excess and modern social transformation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“LOVE THY NEIGHB A Dreadful Possibility. HEN Aunt Elvira takes the train, She always has a vision (She’s told me, time and time again) Of being in a collision; She doesn’t seem to feel much dread And fear of being mangled, Of broken bones, a broken head, Of being burned or strangled. “T always think,’’ she says to me, “That’twould be dreadful shocking If folks should pick me up and see A big hole in my stocking!" So Aunt Elvira takes her yarns When plans are made for starting, And darns and darns and darns and darns, Before she risks departing. - McKinstry. Plenty of Room Later. Bumble—‘‘Why didn’t you get on the water wagon?” Rumble—"No seats left." Bumble—“Ob, well, if you per- sist in the notion, you will find a seat later.’’ The early buyer mis gains. 3 the bar- In the Nuttery. Visitor—‘‘What's wrong with the man in that cell?’” Attendant—‘‘ He's a doughnut."’ “You mean that is his hallucina- tion?” “No; he really is. He went crazy on the subject of ‘aoney.”” Revised by a Social Climber. An ounce of invitation is worth a pound of introductions. A SPEAKING COUNTENANCE. “ Looky, mamma, that naughty boy is swearing at me with his face,"" An Awkward Apology. A kindergarten teacher in Wash- ington, with a pile of books on her arm, was about to get off a street car just as a gentleman whom she thought she recognized as the parent of a pupil in her school got on. “*Good-morning!”’ she said, with a cheery smile. Instantly she saw, by the quizzical expression on the face of the man ad- dressed, that she had made a mistake. Intending to correct it, she added quickly, “Oh, pardon me! I thought you were the father of one of my chil- } ye dren.”” Nowadays. Little Miss Muffet She sat in a buffet, Partaking of Scotch highball; Along came a wooer And sat down next to her, But she didn’t frighten at all! Definition. “Pa, what is party loyalty?” “Hope of a good job."” — we — comicbooks.com