Judge — December 28, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard. He Did Know Better. —‘‘So you bought a gold brick and let the news get all over town!"’ said the irate friend. ‘‘Honestly, I thought you knew better.”” “I'll tell you the truth,’’ whispered the barber. ‘‘Business was bad and L only paid four dollars for that brick. Now people come from all over town to kid me, and business looks good for a month or more. By that time I hope to have another little scheme.’’— Washington Herald, Seeing New York.—Farmer John— “This is the New York Stock Ex- change, my dear. All those men running about on the floor are brokers.’” Mrs. John—'*My! I should think they would get tired. Don’t they ever sit down?”’ Farmer John—‘‘I guess not. Seats here cost about $70,000 apiece.’’— New York Press. A Domestic Sidelight.— Fond mamma—'‘Now, Charley, don’t you admire my new dress?”’ Charley—' Yes, mamma; it’s beau- tiful '" Fond mamma-—"* And, Charley, all the silk is provided for us by a poor worm. Charley—"*Do you mean dad?”"— Sydney Bulletin. Bidding High Firs:.—‘‘Why are you trying for a job in the Cabinet? You know very well that you have no possible chane “‘It doesn’t hurt to aim high and leave plenty of room for discounts. All I expect is a twelve-hundred- dollar clerkship."’—Louisville Cou- rier-Journal. Practical Economy.—‘‘I do not see that you are practicing economy by buying a fifteen-dollar handbag for ‘ior is so complex that by the time she finds money for stre car fare, her companion will have paid for her." —Buffalo Express. The Departing Son.—‘‘Our boy has left us,’ wept the mother, as their only son waved good-by from the car window. “Yes,'’ said the old man, whom the boy had just touched for a loan; “but he hasn’t left us much,’’—De- troit News. His Own Make.—Mr. Bacon—“That Mr. Crossley, who called last even- ing, is a self-made man.” Mrs. Bacon—Too bad he couldn't have made himself a little more agreeable,"’— Yonkers Statesman. The Lesser Eyil.—‘‘I hate a barber that talks politics all the time, don’t you?’’ “Can't say I do. I'd rather have him talk politics than hair tonic.""— Washington Herald In answering HUNTER RYE] ETORS UNDER THE NATIONAL PERI FOOD LAW AN ABSOLUTELY PURE THE RICHEST PRODUCT Urithepesit": 3 OF MARYLAND'S FAMOUS*BISTNAER* 3. IES. GUARANTEED BY THE PROPRI, ,, | RYE WHISKEY. Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. Be An Artist Make Money Drawing Comic Pictures. Letthe world’s famous cartoonist, Eugene Zimmerman, spill a few ideas into your head. Get the Zim Book—it’s chuck full of valuable suggestions. Price $1.00, postpaid. Bound in 3-4 Morocco. Satisfaction guar- anteed. Money back if book returned within 10 days. Ad- dress: 00 FOR A FUNNY 100 PHOTOGRAPH J am anxious to get a humorous photograph or one that is strikingly odd. I want to use it as a cover on THE MAGAZINE OF FUN— the new humorous magazine that is attracting so much attention. If you have a photograph that is un- usual or has humorous possibilities send it to me and if I like it I will pay you $10. If it strikes you as funny it may strike me the same way—and the $10 is yours. || The January number of THE ZIM BOOK, MAGAZINE OF FUN has a full Room No. 1149, :. z nage telling Beenewiee Biles chotographe I want. can pick January number up at any stand, or if r Ime 10¢ I'll send you a copy. —The Editor. THE MAGAZINE OF FUN Brunswick Building, New York New York. The aging of a cocktail is as necessary to perfect flavor as the aging of wine or whisky. The delicious flavor and aroma of e —— ( lub ( ocktails SONG POEMS WANTED. Cash or royalty paid for popular bits, Par ticalars free, with bulletin of latest gems. Agents make $10 daily sell- ing out music, Needham Music House, 111 Plerce, St. Louls, Me. Hotel Punta Gorda PUNTA GORDA, FLORIDA A beautiful resort situated on the Gulf Coast, 300 miles south of Jackonsville. An elegant location to spend the win- ter months. It has the finest fishing and hunting in Florida. Hotel entirely remodelled and renovated and refur- nished. Very moderate rates. This is considered one of the finest resorts in Florida. : For further information address RAY PAYNE, Manager 31 Pine Street, New York until December 15, then to Punta Gorda, Florida is due not alone to the precise blending of the choicest liquors obtainable, but to the fact that they are softened to mellowness bv aging before bottling. Manhattan, Martini ond other standard blends, bottled, ready to serve through cracked ice. Refuse Substitutes. AT ALL LEeALERS, G. F. HEUBLEIN & BRO., Sole Preps. Hartford New York advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com