Judge, 1912-12-28 · page 10 of 25
Judge — December 28, 1912 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The main cartoon depicts a man's bedroom/study during his wife's absence—showing gambling paraphernalia (cards, coins, bottles) scattered about. The satire humorously asks what resolutions this character "Gaysport" has already broken and what consequences await when his wife returns. It's a domestic comedy about marital discord and a husband's misbehavior during his spouse's absence. Below this is "Judge's Birthday Book," a recurring feature offering absurdist "advice" for children born on specific January dates. The humor is satirical pseudo-science: warnings about excessive cigarette smoking for young children, cautions about selecting "good parents," and humorous restrictions on mince pie consumption. A small secondary joke shows a boy refusing to come upstairs, claiming he "still feels kind o' wicked"—playing on the period's moralistic child-rearing attitudes. The suffragette reference in the 4th entry reflects early 20th-century anxieties about women's rights activism, treating it as a marital hazard—typical of Judge's conservative satirical stance.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE Judge = JANUARY. Hl 1st— All persons born upon this day should care- fully guard against smok- ing more than seventeen pack- ages of ciga- rettes per diem, especially be- tween the ages of eight and fif- teen, lest they be liable to inter- mittent attacks of smoker’s heart, complicated by jaundice of the thumb and forefinger. 2d—lIndividuals selecting this date for their first appearance in the world should exercise considerable caution in the choice of their par- ents, taking care especially to avoid CALM BEFORE A STORM. What New Year's resolutions has Gaysport broken in his wife's absence. and what will happen when he wakes up? s Birthday Compiled by Horace Dodd Gastit, P. D. Q. extravagant fathers and bridge- playing mothers, as likely to in- volve them later in financial em- barrassment. FOR A NEW OFFENSE. Mamma (from above) —' Now, Tommy, if you'll be good you can come up."” Tommy—'‘ I'm ‘fraid I'd better not come up, yet. I still feel kind o' wicked." Book. 3d—Blond children born on the third day of January, especially in years ending in odd numbers, should not consume more than six pieces of mince pie covered with melted cheese at a sitting, unless they are immune to the terrors of bad dreams and are seeking an excuse for the early removal of the vermiform appendix. 4th—Male infants born on this date should early familiarize themselves with the peculiarities, tendencies and good points generally of the opposite sex, so that they may make a more expert selection of their fu- ture wives, and those who can afford only one pair of trousers should un- der no circumstances embark upon the seas of matrimony with an English suffragette. comicbooks)