Judge, 1912-12-07 · page 11 of 44
Judge — December 7, 1912 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces reflecting early 20th-century social attitudes: **"An Early Matrimonial Experience"**: A couple discusses a burglar who fled without stealing anything. The wife expresses disappointment, hoping he'd take "pink ornaments the Blanks gave us"—satirizing newlyweds' dislike of unwanted wedding gifts. The joke mocks the social awkwardness of receiving and displaying gifts from people whose taste you don't share. **"For a Deserving Clerk"**: This section ridicules employers' difficulty giving meaningful Christmas bonuses. The accompanying letter from "Henry K. Slithers" of "Slithers and Slathers" (a mocking banking firm name) offers a deserving ten-year employee a pittance—$10 weekly raise—delivered via formal letter on expensive stationery and special delivery. The satire targets cheap employers who dress up minimal compensation with ceremonial presentation, treating a modest raise as generous holiday charity. Both pieces critique class attitudes and social pretense in early 1900s America.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN EARLY MATRIMONIAL EXPERIENCE, He— Yes, it was a burglar all right, but he didn't take anything; I frightened him away."’ She— Ob! Isn't that too bad? I was hoping he'd take those pink ornaments the Blanks gave us." FOR A DESERVING CLERK. It is often very hard for an employer to know just what to give <o a deserv- ing clerk with whose personal tastes he is not familiar, and we beg, there- fore, to suggest the following design, which almost any man who has ever learned to write can construct in ten minutes: SLITHERS AND SLATHERS. Bankers and Brokers. December 25th, 1912. My dear Spinks—In token of our appreciation of your faithful service in this office for the past ten years, Mr. Slathers and 1 have decided to in- SO HAPPY! “* Well, my shopping is done at last !’" crease your salary to the amount of ten dollars a week, beginning to-day, which we beg you to accept with our best wishes for a Merry Christmas, Yours very truly, Henry K. Slithers. This design, when placed in an ad- dressed envelope, decorated with one red two-cent stamp and a blue special- delivery stamp neatly affixed in the right-hand corner, will, in spite of its very great simplicity, prove most attractive to the eye of the recipient. It is recommended that it be not comicbooks.com