Judge, 1912-11-23 · page 8 of 24
Judge — November 23, 1912 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top cartoon depicts a burglar breaking into a home and finding nothing to steal. His revenge: setting the homeowner's alarm clock for 3 a.m.—a petty but effective prank. This is humorous satire about burglary and domestic annoyance. The bulk of the page consists of philosophical aphorisms by John Kendrick Bangs, a popular humorist. These witty observations satirize contemporary American life: the obsession with cost-of-living increases ("drops" in prices would make people grateful), pretentious family trees and pedigrees, hypocrisy in voting, and materialism (defining "art for art's sake" as paying $200 for a Paris hat). The "Wall Street Expression" cartoon shows a man trying to recover financial losses—likely referencing stock market speculation common among the era's wealthy. The scattered verses mock patriotic sentimentality and romantic ideals ("love may be blind, but marriage is often an eye-opener"). Overall, this page satirizes American middle and upper-class values, consumerism, and social pretension through humor and mild cynicism typical of Judge magazine's editorial voice.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Burglar—‘ Not a thing in the place ; but here 's where I git even. GETTING EVEN. I'll set his alarm fer t'ree o’clock.'’ From a Philosopher's Notebook. DROPS. A drop of ink May make a million think! eens | A drop in beef Would bring us much relief! Adropin beer Would make a bil- lion cheer! Adrop in rent Would find us all content— In short, a drop in anything Will make a grateful nation ring With cries of a sincere Thanksgiving As high as is the cost of living! A little limelight, now and then, is relished by the best of men. Bad news needs no special stamp to insure its prompt delivery. Success too early achieved becomes a millstone on the neck of effort. The angry man should never do to-day what he can put off until to-morrow, If all men voted as they think, there would beatremen- dous falling off in the total. By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS. Life is full of precipices, and he is a fortunate man who never falls over his own bluff. Each age produces its own phi- losophy. Even a wise saw may lose its teeth in time. Some men seem to believe that the only degree worth having is a pedigree, forgetting that it is the end of the line that begins to fray. Always tell a woman the worst, my son. Not only does she expect it, but she won't be happy till she gets it. WALL STREET EXPRESSION. “ Trying to re-coop his losses."* Wine may be stimulating, and anger righteous; but the two to- gether lead on to folly. A family tree is a fine possession, but we must be careful that it does not cast us in the shade. The wisdom teeth are so called probably because they keep them- selves out of the public eye. A Patriotic Ambition. I own I have been shedding These sticky, tallow tears; The corners of my mouth turn down, So sad my lot appears. A smoky Jack o’ Lantern, I sit and vainly sigh To be, when comes Thanks- giving, Historic pumpkin pie. Nothing Material. “Pa, what's ‘art for art’s sake’?”’ “That, my makes your ma pay two hun- dred dollars for a Paris hat."’ son, is what Often. Love may be blind, but mar- riage is often an eye-opener. comicbooks.com