Judge, 1912-11-23 · page 6 of 24
Judge — November 23, 1912 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes Thanksgiving hypocrisy and includes period humor pieces. "A Confession" mocks self-aware thanksgiving pretense: the narrator claims grateful, generous nature while admitting he'll overeat, skip church for sports, and can't find anyone genuinely deserving his thanks—concluding the holiday is hollow ceremony masking gluttony. The "Turkey Trot" cartoon references the popular 1910s dance craze, showing a turkey protesting its fate with dark humor. Three brief joke items follow: "A Bore" jokes about learning music "by ear" without earaches; "The Good Cause" plays on romantic disappointment; "Her Daring" puns on marrying someone named Triplett; "Post-mortem Inquiry" wordplays "dead languages." The page reflects early 20th-century satirical magazine conventions: cynical social commentary mixed with lightweight puns and vaudeville-style humor.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A. Confession. AM A Thanksgiver. I have a generous and grateful nature. I also have a splendid appetite. I also am always ready to have a holiday. I look forward to the last Thursday in Novem- ber with considerable pleasure. I know, of course, that I am going to eat too much; but, at the same time, I will have plenty of leisure in which to di- gest it. I have a vague no- tion, furthermore, that I EVERY. BODYS (| DoINIT THE TURKEY TROT | ORPHEUM| A PROTEST The tarkey—* No, sir; nothing like that in our family.” foe Sarnonye-—$ A. Bore—“* Yes, I learned to play entirely by ear.’ Miss Bright—“And have you never had an earache ?"” am somehow eating in a good cause. Tam anxious to approach the occa- sion with all due en- thusiasm and to con- form to the spirit of the day. 1 read the Presi- dent's proclamation and I confess it sounds a bit uplift- ing. I go to church if I can spare the time from golf or the foot- ball game. I sit down at the table. I see the food be- fore me and I fall to with a will. \) I eat and eat and eat, and the more I eat, the more I feel that it is no better than many another meal I have had re- cently which involved no thanks whatso- ever. I light my cigar and think the matter over. I can recall many people who. should feel thankful to me, but none, in the heavens above or the earth beneath, to whom I have not already given value received. lrack my brain in the effort to give thanks, but can think of no worthy place to bestow them. I conclude that everybody else is in the same boat, and that, as a matter of fact, it is a hollow cere- mony, without force or effect except, perhaps, as a sacrifice to the god of gluttony. Lam sorry to reach this conclusion, but I can find no way out of it. Tam a Thanksgiver. The Good Cause. ‘*You promised to call,’’ she began, “‘and what is it Could act as a cause for postponing your visit?’’ “That my plans have miscarried is certainly true,’’ He replied, ‘‘but the cause is a pa- rent to you.”’ Her Daring. “Courageous, isn't she?"’ “Very! Why, she is engaged to marry a man named Triplett!"’ Post-mortem Inquiry. “Speaking of the dead languages, professor,”’ inquired a new student, “who killed them?"’ comicbooks.com