Judge, 1912-11-02 · page 12 of 24
Judge — November 2, 1912 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical essay by John Kendrick Bangs titled "Thumb-nail Essays—Politics," accompanied by two cartoons. **The main illustration** ("The Poet's Plaint") shows a disheveled, exhausted figure—likely representing a writer or artist—surrounded by demanding children. The caption suggests creative depletion: "I don't seem to be able to create anything! Nothing that will live, anyway." **The essay itself** is a biting definition of American politics as fundamentally corrupt and hypocritical. Bangs argues that politicians routinely abandon or obfuscate their principles to win elections, that moral character is irrelevant to political success, and that the system produces "strange bedfellows." He mocks the quadrennial (every four years) election cycle as a plague and satirizes how politicians are praised with grandiose titles ("The Second Washington," "Tribune of the People") regardless of actual character. **The inset cartoon** ("Small Potatoes") appears to show people viewing a political map or election results—visual commentary on electoral insignificance. The satire targets political hypocrisy, corruption, and the performative nature of campaigns—themes surprisingly timeless for what appears to be early-20th-century commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“*T don’t seem to be able to create anything ! Thumb-nail OLITICS is a branch of Civics that treats of Civil Government with a lack of Civility that causes thousands of observers to despair of Civilization. It concerns itself with the Administration of Public Affairs in the interest of Pe: and Prosperity, with such effect as to destroy the one and seriously to retard the attainment of the other. It is practiced by a large body of men, having no other visible means of sup- generally port, who are denominated Politicians, and who after death become Statesmen, although during their lifetime they have been regarded with deserved suspicion by either a few more or a few less than half their fellow-citizens. The Rule of Politics is perpetuated by the unruly, and its principles are set forth in a document hastily thrown together and without reading, known as a Platform, which is made rather to ride on than tostandon. (See Plank Road.) The chief result of Politics is to make strange bedfellows, and it requires of its more conspicuous practition- ers that they shall either abandon all their princi- ples as previously enun- ciated for the sake of winning an election, or adopted so explain them as to make their recorded ut- terances utterly devoid of meaning, and as strong for the Right as a bowlof mush, in order that their followers may S PLAINT. By JOHN. KENDRICK BANGS. get their names upon the Pay-roll of the Government. In some American Communities that have successfully dealt with Yellow Fever, Locusts, Smallpox and Brown-tail Moths, nothing has yet been devised to allay the virulence of the Quadrennial Visitation of Poli which begins to descend with a whirl- Seven-year wind force upon the peaceful vales and industrious cities of the land in the early Spring of every Leap Year, and which continues with through Summer and a greater part of Autumn, in order that the Peepul may decide which of two groups of ungovern- able men shall govern the Republic. In this branch of human endeavor it devastating violence POPULAR EXPRESSION—‘‘ SMALL POTATOES." Nothing that will live, anyway.” Essays-Politics. is no reflection upon a man’s moral chare acter if he be culled a Liar, a Thief, a Mollycoddle or a Malefactor of Great Stealth, these terms being interchange- able with such honorary titles as,‘The New Moses,"’ ‘‘The Second Washing- The Reincarnation of Lincoln” and “The Tribune of the Peeheepul.”” As no man is a Hero to his Chauffeur, so is every candidate an Ananias, a Benedict Arnold and a Horse Thief to the opposition. In the pursuit of Politics there are generally two Parties, one the Party of the First Part, constituting the Corrupt Majority, and the other the Party of the Second Part, made up of the Virtuous Minority ; with sometimes a Third Party, made up of offshoots from both the others who find it difficult to adapt themselves to the conditions of a suddenly acquired private life. This Third Party is in all cases the Custodian of the Conscience of the Peeheeple, which it guards with such care that even the Peeheeple themselves often won- der as to its whe abouts. For further informa- tion, see Daily Papers. Why. Husband—‘‘In_ olden times people thought more of their homes.’’ Wife—‘‘Of cours: There were no restau- rants worth mentioning. to go to."” ! comicbooks.com