Judge — September 14, 1912 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SOME OF US smoke a big cigar for the dignity it lends obe. eat are. Wt Char HE PIPE, an aid to reflection, is itself an object of much solicitude. On the practical side, some of our best brains have pondered how to make it do all its burning in the bow! and none on the tongue. ‘*Lucky curves’’ and smoke- filter patents for the stem are count less. An English genius has given the pipe’s function in thought hunting a more vivid recognition by placing on the market a cartridge-and-gun ap- paratus for packing the bowl evenly with tobacco all the way down, The tobacco comes in paper-covered car- tridges, which are slipped into a nickel- plated tube, like shells into a shotgun. Push—strike a match—puff—bag a thought! While the practical Saxon mind was achieving this, M. Wattville, of Paris, a scientist, has been formu- lating theories on the character of pipes the world over, from an ex- tensive collection in his laboratory. In ‘The Physiology of the Pipe,’’ he draws these conclusions: First, While the cigar and ciga- rette are cosmopolitan, the pipe is characteristic of a race. Second, The activity of a race is in proportion to the length of the stem of the pipe. Third, The shorter the pipe, the more laborious the nation. Fourth, Inversely, the longer the pipe, the lazier the race. OTHERS to show how. independ: indifferent to public opinion they HY DO YOU THE SUMMER GIRL s found that the richer girls at her resort “were getting all the press notices, so she smoked acigarette on the street and monopolized the front page. acter in By CHARLES PHELPS CUSHING. Fifth, The more frugal the nation, the smaller the pipe it affects. Sixth, On the other hand, a large pipe bowl is a sign of a wasteful and sensual nation. Seventh, The mind of the race may be deduced exactly from its way of smok- ing. Eighth, Tell me what you smoke, and I will tell you what you are. There may be something vital in this. As we think of pipes—of the pipes of sailors, of rah-rah collegians, of Turks, of Indians, of Chinamen—we see wood and mud, corncobs and gold filigree decorations truly expressing character. None the less, the notoriously short clay of the Celt appears to have altogether too much advantage in M. Wattville’s TYPICAL SMOKERS. Mrs. HENPECK smokes because Henpeck needs only 1.000 more coupons to get that piano. hours telling you “how” smoke a pipe. SMOKE? Pipes. argument. What a deadly thrust he gives to Germany's delight, that capa- cious, china-bowled affair, fashioned like a saxaphone! Home-made. She knits her brows, anon she pouts; Her cigarette it is a droll one. No wonder! for the poor girl doubts If she can ever learn to roll one. Holding It Over Him. “IT shouldn't care to be the wife of a man who never smoked."" “Well, it is comfortable to see one’s husband sitting down after dinner to enjoy his cigar, and then there is some- thing rather soothing about the aroma of a good cigar, too."” “Oh, I don’t care anything about the comfort of it or the aroma; but as long as my husband smokes, it will always be so easy to tell him how to begin when he insists that we have got to economize."" This Is Fate. “It says here something is on the knees of the gods. What do you sup- pose it is?” The goddesses.” What Jones and Smith think of you generally determines your opin- ion of Smith and Jones.