Judge, 1912-08-17 · page 10 of 24
Judge — August 17, 1912 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief humorous sketches mocking various aspects of American society circa early 1900s. **"Religious Opinion"** uses dialect humor (common but now offensive) to joke about religious denominations—a Baptist woman mistakenly calls her church "the navy" instead of "the army of the Lord," playing on nautical/military metaphors for faith. **"Scheming in Reserve"** satirizes corrupt politicians who stop making promises when broke financially but retain dishonesty ("prevarication") as a resource. **"A Misdeal"** compares a poor restaurant sandwich to a bad card hand—asking the waitress to "shuffle" and let him "draw again." **"A Progressive"** jokes about Native Americans ("the poor Indian is no longer Lo"—referencing Longfellow's poem), suggesting athletic testing has made them stronger, so we'd call them "Hi" instead. **The Poet's Account Book** mocks hack poets grinding out verse-for-hire with minimal effort and maximum output. Remaining items are brief romantic/relationship jokes typical of period humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A MAD WORLD, Religious Opinion. «(COME up and fine de army of de Lord, sister!"’ **Ah done jine.’” ““Where you jine?”” “I jine’de Baptis’ Chu'ch."" “‘Lawdie, sister, dat ain’ de army! Dat’s de navy!’” Sc hing in Reserve. Joe—‘'I hear our alderman has stopped making promises to his constituents."" Dough—‘‘Yes, he has gone broke on promises; but’’—— Joe—‘‘But what?"’ Dough—*‘He still has prevarication in the treasury."’ A Misdeal. Weary traveler—Say, my friend, there’s no meat in this sandwich."" Waitress—‘‘No?"’ Weary traveler—‘*Don't you think you’d better give that pack another shuffle and let me draw again?’ A Progressive. Bings—‘‘The poor Indian is no longer Lo."’ Jings—'*No. Since the Stock- holm athletic test, we shall have to call him Hi.”” MY The Poet's CREDIT. A lyric a day Sonnet one day in four. Villanelle—something chic Roundel, classic style... Drama-poem, pretty strong.... Verse for drawing by Geebson. Monthly filler for **Holler’s"" One pastoral ditty One limerick for ad. This grind, no cessation. Men do not look for great intelligence in handsome women, and this is a fact that also has a reverse application. » HIS REASON. Tom—'* Why don't you marry that girl? She is a real pearl.” Jack—"' Because I don't like mother-of-pearl." Account MASTERS. Book. DEBIT. The wolf kept at bay. Laundry sent out once more. Postage stamps for a week. Dining out for a while. Suit of clothes, needed long. Two tickets for Ibsen. A shirt and some collars. A tie, rather pretty. Ink and new writing pad. Straight-jacket vacation.—Ners Mareuts. A Good Time To Do It. “Is your daughter going to practice on the piano this afternoon?”’ “Yes, I think so. “Well, then, I'd like to bor- row your lawn mower, I've got to cut the grass some time, any- way."’ Lucky, Indeed! **Do you think it’s unlucky to have thirteen at table?" “Not if the thirteenth is p ing for the dinner.”” ‘ Danger! “Do you think kissing is as dangerous as the doctors say?’’ “Well, it has certainly put an end to a good many confirmed bachelors at any rate.’’ comicbooks.com