Judge, 1912-08-03 · page 13 of 26
Judge — August 3, 1912 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief humorous sketches typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines. **"A Big Order"** (top illustration): A boatman on a dock instructs someone to "cast off the painter" (nautical term for untie the rope). The humor is visual wordplay—the amateur mistakes this for an art instruction. **"On Pelham Road"**: A couple in a car near the Bronx Zoo hear lions roaring. When the woman asks where he'd go if lions chased them, the man replies he'd go to a sanitarium—joking that he'd need psychiatric care from the terror. **"She'll Always Have Her Little Joke"**: A romantic moment is interrupted when the woman reveals she was actually thinking about a baseball game (bases loaded, two outs, "Baker up"), not the man's romantic advances. The humor plays on feminine obliviousness or deflation of male sentimentality. The remaining items are brief joke exchanges playing on puns and misunderstandings, typical of period humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A BIG ORDER. Amateur boatman—"* I say, old chap, cast off the painter, will ye ?”" On Pelham Road. HEY WERE motoring indolently through the Bronx. Twilight had sat down upon the land, The sudden roaring of wild beasts from the distant zoo caused the fair one to start. “Oh, Jack !"" she cried, nestling close and closer; ‘where would you go if you saw a dozen lions bounding along after us?” “If I saw a dozen lions bounding along after me,’’ grinned the heartless wretch, “I'd go to a sanitarium,”” SHE'LL ALWAYS HAVE HER LITTLE JOKE. She Had Felt It. He—‘Did you ever know a moment when the very air throbbed with emo- tion?” She—‘Yes, yes!" He—‘When your heart felt like a bird fluttering 'neath your hand?”’ She—‘*Yes, yes!"" He (drawing nearer)—‘*When the whole world was centered so close to you that eyes answered eyes?"’ She (edging away from him and his eyes)--"*Yes, yes, I have known it—I have—I have!’" He (more and more fervently)—‘*And into that moment crowds years and years of suffocating intensity ?’’ She—‘*Yes, yes, and its memory will live forever!"" He (makes move to take her in his arms)—‘‘And that moment—that mo- Was—you mean, day, when the score was t full, two out and Baker up!”’ In about ten minutes the doctor pro- nounced him out of danger. was yester- the bases The hospitality we try to avoid is that which is forced on us for a purpose. SCANDAL IN THE POULTRY YARD. “* Have you heard the news? Sue, the White Leghorn, has a black chick !"' Bush Work. Yapville fan (to stranger, during local game)—‘‘Well, how does our new pitcher’s delivery strike you?" Stranger (a big league scout)—‘‘As R. F. D.” A Difference, Bangs—‘‘How did old Heavysole treat you when you asked him for his daugh- ter? Acted like a pirate, didn’t he?” Butts—‘‘Pirate! He acted likea free- booter!"” comicbooks.com