Judge, 1912-08-03 · page 10 of 26
Judge — August 3, 1912 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains humorous short quips about automobiles and early motoring culture. The satirical comments mock motorists' absent-mindedness, financial desperation to own cars, and dangerous driving habits. The top photograph shows people at a dock with a boat during low tide—a literal visual pun on "Tide Down-Tied Up," playing on the idea of being stuck (a common motorist problem). The middle illustration depicts a crowded street scene labeled "As It Looks to the Last Man," suggesting non-motorists' perspective of being overwhelmed by increasing automobile traffic. The jokes target motorists' poor behavior (throwing dust at others), the financial burden of car ownership (mortgaging homes), and social absurdities (feeding a horse gasoline by mistake). The final item is an unrelated joke about why married men are called "Mister" when they didn't choose marriage—typical period humor about marital entrapment, unrelated to cars. The piece reflects early-20th-century skepticism about automobiles as a status symbol and social menace.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MOTOR by any other name would smell as usual. Many a motorist is stuck in a road when he is not stuck ‘‘on’’ it. When a motor man courts a motor girl it is perfectly proper for him to seal his proposal with a motor buss. The man who cannot raise the wind to pay for his motor can at least use it to throw the dust in his TIDE DOWN-TIED UP. Motor Chaff New York hold up sixty-seven touring cars the other day with his right hand. Love, as the old proverb tells us, may indeed make the world go round, but it won’t help a driving wheel much on a mired road. The most absent-minded man we ever knew is a college professor who fed his old family horse on two quarts of gaso- line the other night and filled up the tank of his runabout with bran-mash. Neither the horse nor the runabout has been able to work since. Bildad bought a couple of old rubber tires at a rummage sale the other day, and now avers that he is getting his car on the installment plan. Most people have grown so used to the sound of motor horns that they no longer pay creditor's eyes. About all the scenery that interests some mo- torists of the present day seems to be what might be called the limousinery. It looks like robbing Peter to pay Paul whena man in order to acquire a motor car mortgages his roof to pay the cellar. There is a wag up in Maine who cannot afford a garage and keeps his car in a lean-to. He re- fers to it as his ‘‘gaso- line-to."’ Talk about your Sam- sons—we saw a small, undersized traffic cop in any attention to them, and a Texas genius sug- gests the substitution of a putty-blower which will shoot persons on the road behind the ear at a dis- tance of sixty yards for them. The plan seems feasible, though it is doubtful if it makes mo- torists any more popular with the man on the street. A Buming Question. Why do we speak of a married man as Mis- creases | AS IT LOOKS TO THE LAST MAN. ter? He didn’t! He got her!