Judge, 1912-07-20 · page 10 of 26
Judge — July 20, 1912 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical story mocks collegiate ethics instruction through obvious irony. A professor lectures on moral conduct, then asks popular student "Mr. Slabsides" to serve as a negative example—despite Slabsides coming from a respectable family and being unanimously voted "most genial." The professor presents two life paths: diligent study versus frivolous pursuits, then asks which Slabsides would choose. The satire targets the gap between what professors *teach* about virtue and what students actually *do*. By making the well-liked student the cautionary tale while describing his advantages and good character, Judge mocks the assumption that ethics lectures change behavior. The humor lies in the professor's transparent pedagogical setup—everyone knows what answer he expects, yet real student conduct likely differs entirely. The accompanying cartoons about "necessity" and fishing appear unrelated filler material.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Professor and ¢¢A]OW, young gentlemen,"’ said the professor in ethics, as the class gath- ered for the morning lecture, ‘‘I am going to make this morning a - personal application to yourselves of all the principles you are sup- posed to have learned from my lectures this term. Let us take up the general theory of conduct, I will ask Mr. Slab- sides to assist me. As I understand the situation, he has just been announced by BB GORDON RIGHT. Tired customer—"* Who 's waiting here ?"" Waiter—* Why, you are, boss.”” ~<a NECESSITY IS THE MOTHER OF INVENTION. your class statistician as the most genial man in the student body, having been chosen for that high honor by an almost unanimous vote. You do not object, do you, Mr. Slabsides? I choose you in the full confidence that you, better than any other man in the class, can assist me in making the full import of my teachings clear,’” “Not in the least, professor,’’ replied Mr. Slabsides, with a broad smile. “Go as far you like. Dreadful Ex- ample is my middle name.” “Thank you, sir,’’ said the professor. “I see you have not been chosen the most genial man in your class for noth- ing. Now, gentlemen, Mr. Slabsides comes of good family. On both sides he comes of an ancestry that has held its place in the social order for years, winning the esteem of ail, and presuma- bly of quiet, but none the less effective, influence in the community. At some sacrifice to himself, Mr. Slabsides, Sr., sends his son here to college, and the young man upon his arrival finds two courses of action open to him. One s to make the best of his oppor- tunities by devoting himself assiduously to the work to be done here, laying the foundations of an intellectual equipment the Boys. that will win him the richest prizes life has to offer; missing some fun, perhaps, but winning the honor and esteem of the faculty and the admiration of the serious-minded members of the The other course, devot- more student body. ing himself to frivolous pursuits, neg- lecting the serious opportunities of the curriculum, getting all the fun out of life that he can, with no serious thought of the morrow, and ultimately filling the honored head of his sacrificing father with gray hairs. Now for the direct question—which of these two courses would you select, Mr. Slabsides?”” CAUGHT SOMETHING, Fisherman—* 1 wonder if enybody ever caught anything in this blamed pond ?"” Native—* Sure! A feller fell in here once, and caught a bad cold."” comicbooks.com