Judge, 1912-07-06 · page 10 of 24
Judge — July 6, 1912 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"Books They Don't Read"** presents absurdist wordplay—a curator collecting impossible objects like "a leg from the multiplication table" or "a tooth from the mouth of the stream." The humor relies on treating metaphorical phrases as literal items. **The central illustration labeled "Retribution"** depicts a chaotic Fourth of July celebration, satirizing what appears to be reckless Independence Day festivities. The caption suggests the nation's "old-fashioned insane" celebration style will have consequences—likely commenting on dangerous fireworks practices or general disorder during the holiday. **Three short humorous anecdotes** follow, including jokes about a verbose politician, police incompetence, and a child's literal interpretation of hunger versus thirst. The page's overall theme mocks American social behaviors—pretension, foolishness, and absurdity—through wordplay and domestic scenarios. Without a visible date, the specific historical context remains unclear, though the Fourth of July focus suggests summer publication.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Where Is the enterprising muse- um manager who will add to his collection the fol- lowing curiosities: A leg from the multi- plication table? A high ball from the bar of justice? A tooth from the mouth of the stream? A sleeve from a coat of paint? A panel from the door of opportunity? A strand from a chord of music? A splinter from the board of education? A check book upon the river bank? Some shavings made by a high plane of thought? A tooth from the comb of a wave? The collar from a man- tle of charity? A leaf from the pink of propriety? The original score of an air of bravado? A twisted loop from the fringe of society? The visiting card used when making the call of the wild?—aarve Prats BOOKS THEY Reckless. “He is always ready with a long-winded Fourth of July oration.” “It’s just like him! First he warns his little boys about the dangers of the day, and then he goes and shoots off his mouth!"" Very Likely. His honor (gazing at intoxicated prisoner)— “What is he charged with, officer?’’ Officer (newly appoint- ed)—‘‘Oi don’t know, yer honor, but Oi think it’s shtraight whiskey.’’ Tommy at Dinner. Tommy went out to dine at a friend's house one evening. When the soup was brought Tommy did not touch his, and the hostess, looking over, said, “Why, Tommy, dear, what's the matter? Are- n’t you hungry to-night?” “*Yes,’’ replied Tom- my, ‘I'm quite hungry, but I'm not thirsty.’’ Pinwheels are generally _ Dreams go by contra- RETRIBUTION stuck upon a post; so is ries and fire-crackers fly The nation chiefly responsible for our old-fashioned insane Fourth the man who has an easy in every direction. will this year have an Independence Day of its own. and remunerative job. comicbooks.com