Judge — June 29, 1912 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Conscientious Answer.—Plain but wealthy spinster (to impecunious suitor, as they walk through a portion of her great estate)—‘*Do you truly love me, Clarence?’’ Clarence—‘‘I worship the very ground you walk on!’’"—Punch (London). An Accident at Sea.—‘‘So you say you're an old-time sailor. Did you ever have any accidents while at sea?” “Once, mum, I dropped a bow! of hot soup in an old lady’s lap.”’—Detroit Free Press. The Timid Suitor.—Augustus—‘‘I'm not fond of the stage, Violet, but I hear your father on the stairs, and I think I had better go before the foot lights."’— London Sketch, She Knew.—‘‘Ma, what is meant by the progressive party?’’ “The progressive party, my dear? Why, that's where all the partners change after every game.’’—Detroit Free Press. Its Only Purpose.—‘‘Oh, Willie, Wil- lie!”” cried a teacher to a hopelessly dull pupil. ‘Whatever do you think your head is for?’”” Willie, who evidently thought this another of the troublesome questions that teachers were always asking, pon- dered it deeply. ‘*Please, miss,’’ he replied at length, ‘to keep my collar on!'’=-Youth’s Companion. No Trouble.—‘‘Do you have any trou- ble in keeping your boys on the farm?’’ “‘No,’? replied Farmer Corntossel. “They're willin’ to stay. The only ¢ culty is that they all want to act like summer boarders. '’— Washington Star. Doesn’t Need One.—'‘Selling your home to buy an automobile! What will you do without a home?” **Won’t need none after I git the auto; wouldn’t never be there, anyhow.’’— Houston Post. A Hard Contest. The American athletes will have their hardest contest when, introduced to the foreign contenders at the dinner to be given in their honor, becoming chummy, they try to call these competitors by their proper names: Woichalowski, Gyongvas Halaszy, Tyszkiewicz, Olieslaegers, Vanretladicken, | Deperdussin, Hjalmer, Georggantus, Kaiviatkwaski, Hemmesvedt, Bjornstjerne, Deperdussin, Schoenlein, Kiretchjion, Beaurepaire, Klunschrath, Zolohnehin, Malievitch. If they survive the first heat there are two more trials. Every lover, of a good cocktail should insist that Ahoott’s Bitters be used in making vour getting the very best. C. W. Abbott & Co. Rultimore, Md. See that crown 1S mow Standard tine World ever For sixty years we have used the best materials and inventions to make Schlitz pure and keep it pure. We go to Bohemia for hops. We go 1.400 feet down to rock for pure water. Our yeast, from which we propagate the mother cell, has been carefully guarded for sixty years. There is no purer beer brewed. We keep it pure, too, from the brewery to your glass, by using the Brown Bottle. Light starts decay. even in pure beer. a Order a case from your dealer today. or cork is branded “Schlitz”. 19-M “A SUMMER OUTING ABOVE THE CI.OUDS.” HOTEL KAATERSKILL Member of the “Empire Tours" CATSKILL MOUNTAINS. ELEVATION 3,000 FEET. Opens on Thursday, June £7, remaining open until after Labor Day. The largest mountain hotel in the world. Hare ind Mr, In Europe or America. intain Climbing. Bareball (C conventions. Lo 1.0 perme A musical four 0° ‘tock afternoon tee terved dally. No extra charge to guests. Celebrated Symphony Orchestra. ttractions and inducements for the younger set. Hops semi-weekly. trate $4.00 per day and up. according i address Berkeley Lyceum, 19, 21 West 44th Street, New York. naite Sherry'st Modern Garage. Canoeing. 1 Mountain League) An uptodate Rathatel HARRISON S. DOWNS, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be apprecizted. comicbooks.com