Judge — June 22, 1912 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The circus now amazes you—it fills a city square— Its animals would make a 200, and still leave some to spare ; Its acrobats, its pageantry, and all its other things Would tax the eyes of Argus in its three distracting rings The circus that in memory stays—a show Had but a single ring in days when I was just a boy; ‘Two acrobats were all it had—a big man A single clown with twenty hats, one fitting in another Paternalism. HERE are States where a man must not smoke cigarettes, And States where the cocktail is barred; States that proclaim it a crime to make bets On the innocent turn of a card. The race track is doomed, we can’t bet on baseball, We can’t even swear on the street! It’s acrime to tip waiters or hallboys at all, Or to take a small flyer in wheat. We regard these restrictions with feel- ings of awe, Each day we face prison for life; It’s a wonder there isn't some sort of alaw To prevent a man kissing his wife! = Allan Fores. Explained. “What does this mean, Sam?” said Judge Brown to the prisoner, producing two razors, one a safety, the other a straight back. “Lordy, judge, don’t you all know? Dat safety am fur shavin', suh, butde udder am fur social p'poses entirely, sub."” Poor Noah! Noah disembarked. “Since my wife con- ducted the last house- cleaning campaign, I can't even find the same mountains to sit Ay One G {Tine Great Eircus Ue! Bie ING THE ONE-RING CIRCUS. of wondrous joy— and his brother— Good News Unbroken. “T suppose your wife was more than delighted at your raise of salary, wasn’t she?’’ asked Jones of Brown. “T haven’t told her yet, but she will be when she knows it,” answered Brown. “*How is it that you haven’t told her?"” “Well, I thought I would enjoy myself a couple of weeks first.”” A Modern Jack and Jill. Jack and Jill were happy till The honeymoon was ending; And then divorce stepped in, of course, And now the case is pending. More Profitable. Ole Serabbler- up fiction writing. Younge Scribbler—‘‘No; merely changed my style. I've become an ad- vertisement writer.’” ' hear you have given on,’’ he complained. STRAP-HANGERS OF THE FUTURE. A limping camel with the mange, a zebra striped and bony ; A cross-eyed dwarf who strutted ‘round with much of ceremony ; ‘Three dogs that danced and walked upright, each with a cap and jacket, And with it all a little band that made an awfal racket ! The ‘grand parade "’ was grand indeed as through the town it went, Bat far more wonderful the show when gathered in the tent. The circus nowadays is great, with all its bids to joy, But greater seemed the little show wheu I was but a boy!_y. 4. svaldron. A Proposal. Summer Girl, oh, Summer Girl, you have set my heart awhirl! With your lips so cherry red, you've completely turned my head! To your alabaster, brow I make everlasting vow, and the gold glint of your hair is my joy and my despair. Summer Girl, oh, Summer Girl, you are fit for belted earl! (If the earl I chance to see, you can bet he'll belted be!) You are fit to grace a throne, for Love’s empire’s all your own, and no monarch would disdain such a queen to share his reign. Summer Girl, oh, Summer Girl, in life’s oyster you're the pearl! Who can dance like unto thee? Every step is poetry. When you laugh or when you sing, 'tis like angels murmuring. When the gardens you pass by, roses weep in jealousy! Summer Girl, oh, Sum- mer Girl, who'd not love thee is achurl! Who'd deride thee is a crab, with a spirit drear and drab. Who, indeed, could criticise one pos- sessed of azure eyes like to those twin orbs of thine, with their depths so crystalline? Summer Girl, oh, Summer Girl, at thy feet my all I hurl! I care not how many swains lie imprisoned in your chains—let me have for my small part just one-twentieth of your heart. Let me be your fiance every other Saturday ! —Meraie Dodd Gastit. icbooks.com