Judge — May 4, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EGG TEST WHEN Franklin Hobbes pickt up his ‘steeming hot soft-boiled egg, we all just looked. Granpa Wicks, who started the thing, neerly stared a hole through the vissitor, and mother and Jimmie and me were pretty neer as bad. (I'm Tommy.) You see, we all reely wanted Franklin Hobbes to win this grate competishun, Ivastways I'm shure Jennie did, for she just give one little glance and then blushed and hung her head, waiting to see what hapened. It is the stile in short storries nowa- days to always leave off with the hero doing some speshully irteresting thing, otherwise the editor is afraid his read- ers will all dessert him and turn over to the back of the magazine and beginn reading the advertizements, There is grate competishun these days between the reading and the advertizing seck- shuns of a magasine, and it makes it very hard for both the editor and the awthor, to keep up thare end of the proposishun. So whilst I have Mr. Hobbes thus holding the hot egg, I think it is a good time to tell the reader what this is all about. It may seam crool to do this, but as it is to be a very short storry, he will not be aloud to suffer long. To beginn with, wunce when we had soft boiled eggs Granpa Wicks made a kasual remark that he could tell more about a young manns’ karacter and diss- posishun by watching him oppen a soft boiled egg while it was still hot than in eny other way. Jennie, who is my old- est sister and now has manny bows, just laffed and mother laffed and then they said theyd try it. Charlie Bunner was the ferst vicktum. He was invited to dinner wun evening and I Told &y Tommy SyRobert CM‘Elravy guess he thot it was a quer time to have soft boiled eggs butt he was gam. He pickt up the egg and hitt it an awful whak and it splattered all over his plate and the tabble cloth. Granpa said that evening that Charlie had grate decishun of karacter but lackt conserv- atisam whatever that is. Jennie said she wasnt going to marry a man who needed a speshul cloth under his plate she always did hate that so much. So that let Charlie out. Thenn Oscar Stevens cam one day to lunche. He looked at his hot egg rather timidly and hitt ita little tapp, which did no good whatever. He hitt it four times alltogether before it cam appart and thenn it took him some time to fish the peeces of shell out of his cup. Granpa said Oscar might mak a good artist or a poet butt taken alltogether he lackt push. Jennie konkurred and that disposed of him. , T. Wilson Smythe had an entirely diffurunt experience, though it wasnt all his fawlt. It was reely more the fawlt of the egg. But whenn he dis- kovered its condishun he took out his handkerchief and held it daintily to his nose while the gurl remuved it frum the tabble. Mother was grately borred over this insudent as she had never thought but what the egg was fresh. Granpa Wicks said it was not a kumplete test, but that Mr, Smythe displayd too much delikasy of feeling in the presunce of the unexpeckted. Jennie did not comitt herself butt she seamed sorry for Mr. Smythe. Besides she was closer to the egg than Granpa was. Will Johnson and Sam Peters boathe cam at diffurunt times. They tried oppening the eggs, but neether of them made good. The foarmer mist his cup when he had the egg oppen and droppt it on his plate. This indikated kare- lessness according to Granpa. Sam Peters got one of his fingers into the hot egg and lett out a wild sort of a whoop like he was at a football gam. Granpa said no gentleman shoud forgett his maners to that extent just becaus he had his finger in a hot egg. Jennie agreed to this butt I hapen to know she didnt like Sam very well anyway. Franklin Hobbes was the wun we all wanted to win, so I will gett back to him now. He was Jennie’s ideel in every way. He had wavvy hare and browne eyes and coud skait better than eny of the boys. Besides he was starting in buisness for himself with his father and some day would be self suporting with his father’s help. So when he pickt up the egg it was a crushul moment to all concerned. Granpa watched him like he was an insekt ona pin. Mother was so nervus she spilled her cawfe. Jimmie kept still for a wunder, butt Jennie just went on oppening her own egg without look- ing up. Jennie has been at this egg buisness so long now that she is quite an experrt. Franklin Hobbes held up his hot egg ferst in one hand and then in the other. He seamed to be thinking in a cam, de- leberate way. Granpa held his breth and I jiggled my spoon in my glass to keep buisy at something. Jennie finisht her egg and Mr. Hobbes looked at her very placidly. Thenn he leened over very confidenshully and said: 4 “You do that butifuly, Miss Wicks. I never saw anywun handle a soft boiled egg so neetly."" Jennie blushed furiusly, comicbooks.com