Judge, 1912-04-27 · page 8 of 23
Judge — April 27, 1912 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humorous sketches and text satirizing bachelor life and romantic disappointment. The main feature is a poem ("Ballade of a Bachelor") by John Northern Hilliard lamenting how beautiful women he courted—described as Gibson Girls (the idealized female beauty standard of the era)—have all aged poorly and "grown fat" over ten years. The joke targets both male vanity and the passage of time's cruel effects on attractiveness. Supporting jokes mock parental worries about sons' college expenses ("sowing wild oats"), explore the absurdity of polar exploration's purpose, and play on wordplay about barbers and acquaintances. The sketch at top shows a domestic scene, likely illustrating bachelor life's mundane realities. The cartoons emphasize themes of aging, disappointed romance, and the gap between youthful ideals and reality—common Judge magazine fare poking fun at middle-class male anxieties.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
COMFORTS OF NOT TO BE DENIED. “BY jabbers, if Oi wus dead Oi'd own up t’ it.” No Cause for Worry. Knicker—‘My son is at college, in Philadelphia, and from the way I have to put up the coin, I judge he must be sowing a bumper crop of wild oats."’ Bocker—“Oh, I wouldn't worry over a little thing like that. Very likely they're Quaker oats."” Both poles discovered, what now are the explorers to do? A BACHELOR Ballade of a Bachelor. fy JOHN NORTHERN HILLIARD 'ALL she was and divinely fair, Light of foot as a woodland fay; A Gibson girl with a modish air— he that I loved and that said me nay. It seems, ah, me! but yesterday— How stunning she looked in her feath- ered hat! Dut ten long years have passed away, And Amaryllis is growing fat. Ankles dainty and figure spare, Capid’s mouth and eyes of gray, Roguish dimples and golden hair, Chloe was blithe as a bird in May. Though [ pleaded long for a single “yea,” She used my heart as she would a mat; But Time adjusts all things, they say, And Chloe, too, is growing fat. Lips that were made to tempt and snare, Eyes to sparkle and dance and play, A smile to banish li Clorinda certainly ‘‘had a way Slender, too, as a poplar spray; Graceful with racquet and club and bat. She spurned me, too; but my heart is 's cark and care— gay— A For Clorinda, also, is growing fat. Only the foolish barber would have the cheek to cut an acquaintance. MUSSER. Current Fiction. Kidder—**That fellow makes a living writing light fiction. Kiddee—**He doesn't look like a lit: erary chap. Kidder—‘‘He's not. He makes out statements for the electric-light com: pany." A BROAD SMILE, Minister—* Well, Brother Jones, I bear that the Lord has smiled on you ?"" Jones (who has recently become the father of twins)—"* Smiled on me? He laughed out loud at me.” comicbooks.com