Judge, 1912-04-20 · page 23 of 24
Judge — April 20, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is satirical commentary on an upcoming U.S. presidential election (likely 1912, given the suffrage reference). Judge magazine mocks the inability to identify who the next president will be by presenting an absurdly literal, feature-by-feature "analysis" of a composite portrait—noting only obvious physical attributes (a nose, two eyes, a mouth, ears, hair) without revealing any actual identity. The satire targets political uncertainty and the superficiality of election discourse. The jab at suffragists ("Hope on, fair ones") reflects the era's gender politics, while the final observation—that the mysterious future president displays "a very longing look"—suggests aspiration or ambition without substance. The page is primarily advertisements (Strauss Brothers tailors, Chartreuse liqueur, Gold Seal Champagne, Sunny Brook whiskey), typical of Judge's revenue model. The "Hot Sunshine" poem below is unrelated filler content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Near Likeness of Our Next President. E WISH to give our readers the very latest, and no expense has been spared in making this likeness as accurate as possible. Naturally, composite pictures have been used in this wonderful analysis of asubject dear to the heart of every man and office-holder, At the first glance, we notice that our next President will be a man. © Our friends, the suffragists, will be disap- pointed; but we are here to state facts. Hope on, fair ones—there are other Presidents yet to come! Looking into the subject more deeply, " wesee that the man has a nose, situ- ated in the center of the face. It isa very good nose. Our next observation brings us to the sabject of eyes. Here we make a very interesting discovery. The man has two eyes—one on each side of the upper part of that nose, described above. Continuing the investigation, we no- tice, below the nose, a mouth. Yes, it's a perfectly good mouth. How we would like to describe the teeth! But, for some unaccountable reason, the sub- ject has the mouth closed. The next detail particularly noticed is that our next President will have two ears, very much in the style now worn by most men. The forehead—oh! now we reached a high part! Well, to be ex- plicit, the forehead reaches from the eyebrows to the hair—yes, the next President will enter the chair with hair! We are undecided about the question of mustache. One study gives us a glimpse of a mustache, but another view shows that the mustache was not a mus- tache, but deep lines on the side of the face. Naturally, we do not presume too much on our glimpses. The same doubt is raised as to whether our next President will wear glasses or not. It may be glasses or lines—no, we will not presume. The real, the very real vital point is have the expression, and in this we give our candid, unbiased opinion—the man who will be our next President has now on bis face a very longing look. We have seen our duty and have done it CPS Hot Sunshine. A lover told his lass she was The sunshine of his life. "Twas true; she made it hot for him When she became his wife! ABIETy lover of a good ‘cocktail abould call for Abbott's Bitters. Makes the best, C. W. Abbott & Baltimore, Md, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. LL AL EIR IGIEI IE IE IH EIGISIGI IEE TEI IE IER BEE HEIR ae IS LOCATED IN ED IN YOUR TO" TOWN — READY TO MEASURE YOU GUARANTEED SPRIN WRITE FOR HIS — FORA G N\T— NAME reerrr, F chahshahohleslasbeslesedaslaslasbshealedd Since the decision rendered by the United States Supreme Court, it has been decided by the Monks hereafter to bottle CHARTREUSE (Liqueur Péres Chartreux) both being identically the same article, under a combination label representing the old and the new labels, and in the old style of bottle bearing the Monks’ familiar insignia, as shown in this advertisement According to the decision of the U_S Supreme Court, handed down by Mr. Justice Hughes on May 29th, 1911, no one but the Carthusian Monks (Pares Chartreux) is entitled to use the word CHARTREUSE as the name or designation of a Liqueur, so their victory in the suit against the Cusenier Company, representing M Henri Lecouturier, the Liquidator appointed by the French Courts, and his successors, the Compagnie Fermiere de la Grande Chartreuse, 1s complete The Carthusian Monks (Péres Chartreux), and they alone, have the formula or recipe of the secret process employed in the manufacture of the genuine Chartreuse,and have never parted with it ‘There is no genuine Chartreuse save that made by them at Tarragona, Spain At first-class Wine Me-chant« Grocers, Ho! Bu.jer & Co., 45 Broadway, New York, N. Sols Agents for tue United States. Cafés, ice edo scab p loceobeoeclach gle clecle epee esp appellee charter PEO 2 IO IAAI SEE REAR AAAS ichshaccbaashadchsheshnhadhhashacachantnshaiasiceshetigshadghacshaaachBeshasachssashacashstathshashsheshchasashe sinha shslasbshssbsiastshasiashasbcios Sactaelgel JARRE AT Se ee S JHE IBRIEINBIBIEI IIIS IME IGI IBGE IIBIGIIEEIEBI IERIE JERE JRE IRE Your Attention is Called to GOLD SEAL Champagne A trial of which will prove to your entire. satisfaction that cham- pagne can be made in America, superior in quality to the imported product. Two Kinds Special Dry---Brut Sold by all leading grocers and wine merchants URBANA WINECO. SUNNY, BROOK NSPEGTOR | ASA Fleasant Beverage and re. Wholesome Tonic t Has No Equal. URBANA, N. Y. HENRY LIN ra It will be enpreciated. DENMEYR & SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE Nos. $2, 34 and 96 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouse, 20 Beekman Street, New York ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER comicbooks.com