Judge, 1912-03-30 · page 10 of 24
Judge — March 30, 1912 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Image: "Lost Opportunities of History"** Shows an ancient Egyptian scene (identifiable by the architecture and costume) where a slave addresses Cleopatra. The satire: a slave asks when the Pharaoh will have beauty tips ready for the *Daily Papyrus* newspaper—anachronistically treating ancient Egypt as if it had modern media and beauty culture. The joke mocks both contemporary obsession with beauty advice columns and the absurdity of projecting modern concerns onto history. **"Different from Teddy" Cartoon (bottom right)** A judge questions a repeat offender appearing for a third time. The prisoner claims he has "scruples against a third term." This references Theodore Roosevelt's presidency—he served two full terms, then avoided seeking a third. The joke: the criminal uses "third term" language to humorously sidestep further punishment, as if political precedent might apply to his sentencing. **Other Content** The page includes poems about spring and photography darkroom humor, unrelated to political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LOST OPPORTUNITIES OF HISTORY. Slave—" Ob, most gracious Cleopatra ! A Word for Spring. HE LATTER-DAY bards of ephem- eral meter Unite in a voice when they carol of spring. The season, they constantly would be sweeter Devoid of its mud and all that sort of thing. There's something hibernal ways “infernal” For rhyming with ‘‘vernal,’’ whenever they sing. rhyme, that’s al- But, though I'm the least of all singers, my voice is Undauntedly raised in the season’s de- fense. Not one of the year’s variations rejoices My heart as the season when winter repents, And, valiantly trying to stifle his crying, Goes northward, denying his evil in- tents. I’m fully acquainted with springtime diseases And harassing programs the heavens arrange, With restlessness moving day never ap- peases, And housecleaning sorrow, so bitter and strange. By all I've been smitten and sharply am bitten By spite—but I've written in praise for a change. —Gerten Carruth, An Epidemic of Dancing. “‘The dance fad seems to be invading the theatrical business to a remarkable extent.”” “Right! three reels.’ I just saw a photoplay in “ Aunty, I'm pretendin’ I'm a street cleaner.” “How naughty! Your sister don’t get so dirty."” “* No; she ain't got the ‘magination.'’ My lord, the editor of the Daily Papyrus, desires to know when thy manuscnpt for to-morrow's beauty hints will be ready ?"" No Late Developments. When earth’s last view has been kodaked And the films are developed and dry, When the last vague portrait is printed And the last foggy view put by, We shall bathe—and, faith! we shall need it— For the bathroom will then be free From hypo and ruby paper And similar filigree. Though the tub shall be dyed with yellow And the walls shall be streaked with black, We shall still be devoutly thankful That we have the old bathroom back. Though the windowsill be corroded, We shall chuckle with huge delight, For no hampering screen shall darken And no shutter exclude the light. And what though the air be druggy. And the floor be all stained and wet, We shall know that the worst is over And that we may be happy yet, In the thought tnat the next existence May provide a restraining saint, Who shall datnpen the amateur ardor For developing things as they ain't. Robert Seaver Different from Teddy. Judge—‘‘You have been here twice before, and twice I have sent you to jail. Have you anything to say why I should not send you there again?” Prisoner—‘‘I have scruples against a third term, your honor.’’ comicbooks.com