Judge — March 9, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ticklers from Tit-Bits. Tommy—*Pop, what is a theorist?”’ Tommy's pop—*A theorist, my son, is a man who thinks he is learning to swim by sitting on the bank and watch- ing a frog.’” - Husband (irritably)—‘‘It isn’t a year since you said you believed our marriage was made in heaven, and yet you order me around as if I wasn't anybody!’’ Wife (calmly)—‘‘Order is heaven's first law."” ~ A well-known peer, not remarkable for his physique, some time ago visited a factory where a great number of men were employed. The peer inquired of one of the workmen, “What wages do you receive here?”’ “Well,’’ replied the — workman, scratching his head and raising his cap with the same hand, ‘‘that depends on what you are, guv’nor. A chap like you, for instance, would get about eighteen bob a week!’" - ‘A young lady, having set her cap at a rather large specimen of the opposite sex and having failed to win him, was ig T vatiéy GEMS #& SEE THEM GEFORE PAYINGT Teese gem feet white sapphires PosK vonds. siandecid y bee MONEY IN BOAT LIVERY! Can Berke {n any quantity. Need No Boat! lever Leak, Rust, Check. Greece Don’t Wear A Truss. Brooks’ Appliance. New dis- covery. Wonderful. No obnox- ious springs or pads. Automatic Air Cushions. Binds and draws the broken parts together as you would Siorekes li limb. No salves, Nolym- phol. No lies. Durable, cheap. Sent on trial, Put. Sept. 10, ‘01. CATALOGUE FREE. Cc. E. BROOKS 178 State St., Marshall, Mich. HOTEL : ST. DENIS BROADWAY AND liTH STREET NEW YORK CITY. Within Easy Access of Every Polut of Iuterest. “Half Block from Wavamaker's, Staltutes! walk of Shon District.” NOTED FOR: Excellence of Culsiae, Cows Portable Ap ts, Cou log and Momelike Surrousdingy. ROOMS $1.00 PER DAY AND UP EUROPEAN PLAN, Tablo d’Hote Breakfast S0c. WM.TAYLOR&SON; Inc. OTEL MARTINI! UE; MYradway aod aed Bee? C J < Corg ATLANTA, GA. The New Million Dollar Southern Hotel NOW OPEN HE newest conception of a hotel, superb in the exceptional artistic character of its decorations, and equipped with every known facility for the comfort and convenience of its guests. Excellent arrangements for families who wish home-like environment with seclusion or the opportunity of enjoying all that is most fascinating in hotel life, under one roof. LUXURIOUS RECEPTION-ROOMS ence TER, GARDENS OUNGING-ROOMS SUMMER TERR. TERRACE CARDEN wd SUNPARLOR BILLIARD-R GRILL MUSIC EXCELLENT CUISINE AND SERVICE The most modern hotel in America, where elegance, refine: meot and comfort can be obtained at popular prices. OPEN ALL YEAR CENTRALLY LOCATED At Peachtree Street and Ponce de Leon Avenue ATLANTA, GEORGIA canneler Tdee retailing confidantes, fronted her with these words: “Never mind, Mollie. good fish caught.”” “*Mollie knows that,”’ replied her lit- tle brother; ‘‘but she wants a whale.’’ chops.’’ Mr. those éternal chops! (Goes o Scene 2: At the club. Hubby—"What can I have to Mr. eat?” Waiter—‘‘Nothing much ready yet, sir. Can “Came the piano.”’ “*Hurt yourself?” “No; I First doctor—‘‘! hear your practice is becoming Second out of pat Old lady—‘‘I want you to change that parrot I bought from you. speak at all, and you said he’d repeat every word he heard.”’ Shopma would; but you took him in such a hurry that I hadn’t time to tell you he was deaf.’” Barber—'‘My last customer was evi- dently an actor, and a bad one at tha’ Customer—‘‘How do you make that out?”” Barber—‘‘When I asked him if he wanted an egg shampoo, he suddenly leaped from the chair and made a bee- line for th In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. Scene 1: Mr. Hubby—‘What's for dinner?” Mra. Hubby—‘Oh, just a couple of Hubby (disgustedly)—‘‘ Always Mr. Hubby (enthusiastically)—‘‘Good! | Make it two!"" Detroit Mai Guaranteed =f { her sorrows to a couple of her when one of them con- There are as in the sea as ever were - At home. ne ‘Engine Five Years ayvtenn Detroit Engine Works, 1297 Jefferson Ave.. Detroit, Mich oS scattoonist. My prac I refuse !"" ff in a rage to his club.) of Tans set TH LANDON SCHOOL COPY THIS SKETCH and let me see what youcan do with it. 06 to $125.00 ot more pet week as illas- tual lessons by mail will develop your in stamps ana I will send you a test lesson plate, sho collection of drawings showing possiblities cand Carteve! You can al system of per- tog Midge Cleveland, © cook you a nice chop, sir.’” HENRY LINDENMEYR & |PAPERWAREH in last night and fell against Branch Warehouse, 20 Beekman Street, Nos, 32, 34 and 26 Bleecker Street ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER SONS OUSE New York struck the soft pedal.’” . very small.”” doctor—"Yes; jents.”” I am getting . He doesn’t Whiskey n—‘‘Yes, madam, and so he Disti Bottled Und: Supervision of ~ U.S. Gov't Inspectors Bond . RE - MELLOW HEALTHFUL e door.’” comicbooks.com