Judge — March 9, 1912 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

In Manhattan. He stood on the curb with a puzzled frown, Scanning old Broadway up and down. Trusting his neck to the god of luck, He dived in front of an auto truck, Dodged a taxi, and reached the track, Where the screech of a siren sent him back. He turned to the right with mute appeal, ‘And missed by an inch a hansom wheel. He turned to the left with wild affright, Blinding his eyes with an auto light. Somewhere up in the winter sky A“‘birdman” let his engine ‘‘die,”” And out of the blue, like a shooting star, Dropped to earth in his aero car. The only thing that was left to do Was to pry up a manhole and go on through, So, raising the lid in wild despair, He dropped down in with a fervid prayer. He landed below with a painful jar, Just in front of a subway car! —Percy F. Montgomery, in New York Times. Trouble Ahead for Father.— Young hopeful—* What did papa mean when he said to that man, ‘You've got a good figure’?”” Doting mamma—‘‘He got a good price for some land he sold, my dear.’’ Young hopeful (innocently)—'‘Mam- ma, has the servant girl been selling some land, too?’’—Stanford Chaparral. Going Up. —- ‘‘Eureka!"? exclaimed Hiram Hoskins, who, with a lighted candle in his hand, was hunting for a leak in the gas pipe. A moment later Mrs. Hoskins sadly said, *‘That’s just our luck! Now we'll have to pay out more money to get the roof fixed.’’—Chicago Record-Herald. Keeping Up Appearances.—Hub (sud- denly waking at midnight)—‘‘What in the world was that noise?”’ Wife (entering room)—‘‘It’s all right, dear. The people are coming home from the opera, and I slipped down and gave the front door a slam, so the neigh- bors would think we were there.’’— Boston Transcript. Letting Him Down.—A local amateur didn’t get very far with his speech. “Mr. Chairman,”’ he began, ‘‘I—er—I said the chairman kindly, “to err is human.’’ And then another speaker was called upon to fill the gap. —Louisville Courier-Journal. “Anna Held." — Tom —‘*Was the chorus good?” Jerry—'*Barely.""—Stanford Chapar- ral. Try Marine Eyo Remedy for Red, Weak, Watery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids, No Smarting—Just Eye Comfort. In answering Beer was first Brewed in a Hut -NOW Agencies for the BROWN BOTTLE dot the Eartin As civilization advances—so do the sales of “Schlitz in Brown Bottles.” Over a million | barrels sold annually. The public demands |a pure beer that will not cause biliousness. The Brown Bottle protects Schlitz from the brewery to | your glass. Light spoils even pure beer. Ordi case dealer rn that Crowson corkusbranded “Seaniets The Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous, [=—HOTEL=]| -GREGORIAN NEW YORK CITY, We sell direct, ing you 20,00 on a canoe. All hoes cedar and copper fastened. We make all 85TH ST., canoes flees and styles. also power canoes. Write for free cat- FIFTH AV., BROADWAY. Moe, "civing ‘prices ‘with retailer's profit cut out. | Inperst manufacturers of canove in the world. re ireproot DETROIT BOAT COs B0 felicror Ave. Detroit, Mich, 16 Sreri tous romtorteble aud pomelites Neatest amusements, abops apd depots, NONE BETTER AT ANY PRICE, 300 Reoma, each with private bath, vr ROMEIKE’ Press Cutting Bureau A good room and bath, §2.00 Sy. willsend you all newspaper clippings OTHERS UP TO $3.50. which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be “up PARLOR, BKDROOM, BATH, $4.00, “sa Rpecial rates week or mor Ip the United’ States and. Europe le searched, Terma, Restaurant a att Ae table eote, $.00'for 100 notices, Henny Rowetne, 40110 Seventh ESSCREE: Avenue, New York. I advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com