Judge, 1912-02-17 · page 23 of 24
Judge — February 17, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page features a poem by James J. Montague satirizing excessive apologies. The speaker repeatedly apologizes to "Mr. Harvey" for increasingly violent acts—hitting him with a brick, dancing on his chest, spraying him with a hose, and attempting to fight him. Each apology grows more obsequious and absurd, framing serious violence as minor social transgressions ("expressive of ingratitude"). The joke appears to target either a specific public figure named Harvey or satirize the general phenomenon of insincere, overwrought apologies common in society. The punch line emerges when the speaker confesses that his brickbats "are coming back"—suggesting his victim fought back and won—yet still demands forgiveness. The page is primarily advertising (whiskey, hotels, golf resorts), typical of Judge magazine's format during this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Amende Discreet. Iam sorry, Mr. Harvey, that I copped you on the conk, For I look on you with reverence and awe; And I trust it didn’t hurt you or annoy or disconcert you When I swiped you with a brickbat on the jaw. lowe to your assistance all I am—and look at me! You fill with inspiration and enthuse me; But a gentleman and scholar, when het up beneath the collar, Sometimes gets a trifle hasty—so ex- cuse me. I am sorry, Mr. Harvey, that I danced upon your chest; To assist me has been always your de- sign. Please don’t look upon my attitude as expressive of ingratitude; The mistake, my dear old friend, was wholly mine. I really didn’t mean it when I played the hose on you— You ought to know I love you very dearly— And for mussing up your clothes and ap- pearance with said hose, I really beg your pardon—most sin- cerely. Iam sorry, Mr. Harvey, that I tried to do you up. I did it in a temper, don’t you see? And I never once reflected for a second or suspected That the fellow that got worsted would be me But now I find my brickbats every one are coming back; And again I really feel that I must trouble you To forgive me all I did, I just meant it for a kid, And, believe me, I am sorry.—W. W. —James J. Montague, in “New York American, Sunday-school teacher—*Willie, do you know what becomes of boys who use bad language when they're playing mar- bles Willie—‘‘Yes, miss. They grow up and play golf."’—Pittsburgh Index. “They say men of brains live long. She—‘‘Well, hope for the best. You may prove one of the exceptions."’— Baltimore American. Possible Reasons. Who slips upon An icy pave And doesn’t swear Is very brave. —Birmingham Age-Herald. Or else, mayhap, He keepeth mum Because, poor chap! He’s deaf and dumb. Every lover of a good cocktail should call for Abbott's Bitters. Makes the best. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. Does 50 Years’ Experience In the skillful distillation of HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? It has brought this finest product of Maryland's famous distilleries up to the highest standard of perfection THE AMERICAN CENTLEMAN’S WHISKEY Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. New York City 5th Ave. and 30th St. A Smart Hotel for Smart People Located near all railway terminals, underground and elevated stations, theatres, shopping centres and commercial districts. Comfortably and Luxuriously Appointed Superb Cuisine and Service. Splendid Orchestra and Choralcelo. CONCERTS DAILY IN LOUNGING ROOM Maoee Luncheons and Afternoon ‘eas. Rooms single and en suite at consistent rates. AIR Camden, S. C. ‘OR the winter months, December to May offer a climate un- surpassed in the middle South. Among the pines, the long leaf kind of South Carolina, dry, sandy soil and health-giving atmosphere, one can play Golf, Tennis and Ride or Drive every day. The hotel, a fine class, American plan. More like a home of refinement and in a true southern town; colonial homes and gardens. ‘That and more is what we offer. T. EDMUND KRUMBHOLZ Of the Sagamore on Lake George and The Montclair, New Jersey In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com