Judge, 1912-02-17 · page 21 of 24
Judge — February 17, 1912 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains several distinct pieces: **"A Search for Solitude"** (left column): A poem satirizing the impossibility of escaping commercial life in America. The narrator seeks peaceful nature but is repeatedly interrupted by aggressive street vendors—children selling pepsin gum, newsboys, souvenir hawkers, and eventually a gasoline salesman in space. The satire targets relentless commercialism and unwanted sales pitches that invade even imaginary refuges. **Schlitz Beer Advertisement** (center/right): Uses the "skunk" taste metaphor to explain why brown bottles are superior—they protect beer from light damage. This is not satire but genuine product marketing emphasizing scientific brewing methods. **Minor items** ("Not the Kind of Reader Wanted," "A Long Wait," "Uncle Pennywise Says"): Brief humorous snippets about employment, seasons, and proverbs—typical filler content in satirical magazines of this era. The page's central theme is consumer culture's inescapability, though juxtaposed against straightforward advertising.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Search for Solitude. od I sauntered to a sylvan dell oO And sat beneath a tree, ‘ The scent of flowers sweet to smell, The birds and cows to see. 1 I thought me far from human speech, Far from the strife and hum— \ But soon I heard a youngster screech, i **Please buy some pepsin gum!’’ ry} I wandered through a lovely park As twilight fell around; I listened for the meadow lark, The cheery tree-toad’s sound. The evening breezes fanned my face And made the treetops stir— Cos | Just then a nowsboy sprang from space é P; HH) | i) || ry And yelled, ‘What paper, sir?” 1 tramped besidé the sad sea waves And heard them thud and beat Within their solemn, rocky caves, And shatter at my feet. “Ah, me,’’ quoth I, in tones of joy, “Real solitude is here !’’"— “Oh, mister!’” cried a ragged boy, “Please buy a souvenir!"’ | 1) Hl Hl | | ' (il I i The realms of the unknown Hh g : ‘ & ” Upon a distant mountain peak 5 That ‘Skunk Within the arctic zone, taste sometimes And should I hide me in a cave \ a And cover up the door, q detected in pure beer E’en there some faker wild would rave, | [i : : Some kid his wares would roar. ig is the result of exposing it to the light. ii WA Methinks I'll take an aero-car And journey off through space; j q I'll go and camp upon a star Light starts decay even in pure beer. Dark glass And shake the human race. / And there, exempt from sight and sound, gives protection against light. My life will be serene— Unless some huckster comes around 5 Schlitz is brewed in absolute cleanliness—cooled in filtered air— A-peddling gasoline! . © oe C.G.G. then it is aged for months, to prevent biliousness, then filtered through white wood pulp—then every bottle is sterilized and de- Not the Kind of Reader Wanted. 4 livered to you in brown bottles, thus protecting Schlitz purity from A magazine recently advertised for a . the brewery to your glass. proofreader, and among the replies re- ceived was this interesting one: “Dear sir—Until last fall I have Ir yout knew what \we, Know: spent much of my time in reading for about beer, you would say ‘Schlitz friends, many hours at a stretch, from —Schlitz in brown bottles.’’ my favorite authors. I have graduated from high school and have always been a hard and accurate reader, even when traveling. Certain losses have com- pelled me to go to work. For my skill as a reader and conversationalist you 12M mi fer t friends, wh The miaieeanioten Yonests'es | That Made Milwaukee Famous A Long Wait. Uncle Pennywise Says: The poor man’s When old Winter's work is finished and Ld his rigors have diminished, then a enilaven aiecassets; (the richimsnis ats time arrives that poets love to sing; * . Then the blossoms fringe the river and we cease to shake and shiver, as the A Tongue Twister.—Sir Robert (as . —— sap begins to quiver in the spring. sudden scurry is heard)—‘‘What was A soft, white skin gives arial BBtoni Best charm to the plainest fea- But now earth is ice-incrusted and with lervous loader—‘‘O-only a robert, t slush we are disgusted, as to hearth- Sir Rabbit!"’—London Punch. Mies: stone and to home we tightly cling. —— Pears’ Soap has a mes- All we mortals mope together as we Henrietta Crosman is a radical. for eve! scan the sodden heather—it’s a When she took a dislike to the title of sage of pea y ee lengthy stretch of weather to the her play ‘‘Sham,’’ she changed it to woman who values a ¢ spring. “The Real Thing.""—Youngstown Tele- | complexion. —Louisville Courier-Journal. gram. | Sold wherever stores are found. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. Order a case from your dealer today. See that crown or cork is branded “Schlitz” comicbooks.com