Judge — February 17, 1912 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Howlers. The English journal, the University Correspondent, gives a long list of amus- ing ‘‘howlers,’’ from which we venture to quote a few that throw an interesting light on various topics. “Light housekeeping” is a sign com- monly associated with more or less dingy-looking windows, but the expres- sion evidently has an illustrious origin, for we learn that ‘‘Grace Darling was a light housekeeper’s daughter."’ An even more startling statement is that ‘Richard II. is said to have been mur- dered by some historians; his real fate is uncertain’’—which shows to what lengths historical prejudice may go. That the world changes but little in the course of the centuries brought out by the information that ‘‘the sad- dest thing King John did was to lose his crown in the laundry.’’ A pocket hand- kerchief or an odd sock is bad enough, and we can well imagine the distress of A Trouble Maker COFFEE POISON BREEDS VARIETY OF ILLS. A California woman, who didn’t know for twenty years what kept her ill, writes to tell how she won back her health by quitting coffee: “Tam 54 years old,”’ she says, ‘‘have used coffee all my life and for 20 years suffered from indigestion and insomnia. Life was a burden and a drag to me all the time, and about once a year my ail- ments got such hold upon me that I was regularly ‘sick in hed’ for several weeks each time. “I was reluctant to conclude that coffee was the cause of my trouble, but I am thankful that I found out the truth. “Then I determined to use Postum ex- clusively—for a week at first--for I doubted my ability to do without coffee for any length of time. I made the Postum carefully, as directed, and be- fore the week expired had my reward in a perceptible increase in strength and spirits. “Seeing the good that my short ex- periment had accomplished, I resolved to continue the use of Postum, cutting out the coffee entirely. This I did for nine months, finding, daily, increased cause for gratification at my steadily improving health. My indigestion grad- ually left. me, my sleep returned, I gained 26 pounds in weight, my color changed from sallow to a fresh, rosy hue and life became a blessing. “Then I thought I would try coffee again, and did so for a few weeks. The punishment for deserting my good friend, Postum, was a return of my old troubles. “That taught me wisdom, and I am now and shall be all my life hereafter using Postum exclusively and enjoying the benefits it brings me.’’ Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. “There's a reason,’’ and it is ex- plained in the little book, ‘‘The Road to Wellville,’’ in packages. Ever read the above letter? A mew one appears from time to tUme. They are genuine, true, and full of human interest. the unfortunate monarch over the non- return of a valuable thing like a crown. New light is thrown on the War of Independence by the following: ‘The American war was started because the people would persist in sending their parcels through the post without stamps,’’ and the Southern States of this country would possibly be surprised at their industrial activity if they knew that ‘‘the South of the U. S. A. grows oranges, figs, melons, and a great quan- tity of preserved fruits, especially tinned meats.’’ Is there possibly a touch of Johnson- ian cynicism in the statement that “St. Andrew is the patient saint of Scotland'’? A remark which is supple- mented by the information that ‘‘the patent saint of England is the Union Jack.'’ There is certainly humor in ‘‘a bishop without a diocese is called a suf- fragette.’’ Applied mathematics is represented by the definition, ‘‘A circle is a straight line drawn as round as possible, with a dot in the middle’; while the result of sociological research is the conviction that ‘‘in the houses of the poor the drains are ina fearful state and quite unfit for human habitation.’’ An an- swer that appeals to us particularly on account of its severe practicality is, “The mechanical advantage of a long pump handle is that you can have some one to help you pump,” and our warm- est sympathies go out to the young suf- ferer who wrote, ‘‘Algebraical symbols are used when you don’t know what you are talking about.’’—Stanley Went, in The Bellman. A Mere Guess. A suffragette May fight and fight, And still look under The bed at night. —Birmingham Age-Herald. But if she found A burglar there, She'd yank him out And pull his hair. —Boston Transcript. And while she had The robber’s goat, She'd make the laddie Pledge his vote. — Youngstown Telegram. Or maybe she, With courage grim, Would pause to make A speech to him, —Chicago Record-Herald. If this occurred In London! Rats! She'd black his ‘‘lamps,’’ Push in his ‘‘slats.’’ — Yonkers Statesman. But if it were In Boston, though, She'd simply say, “Sir, you’re de trop.” Every lover of a good cocktail should insist that Abbott's Bitters be used in making it; insures your getting the very best. C.W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. If You Only Knew the care, solicitude, vigilance, experience and effort that go with the malt and hops in making Evans’ Ale You would recognize what a train of in- finite details it requires to produce a per- fect product. Constant striving to make it better has kept it BEST. The proof is in the bottle. In casks, bottles and splits Expansive Breathing A book that fully explains how to vitalize the Blood through proper breathing. Correct breath- ing (both sexes) described by dia- grams, etc. Book contains 64 pages of important information on Chest Expansion, Lung De- velopment and Internal Exercise. Includes Special Breathing Ex- excises; Endorsed by Physicians —Accepted by the National Medical Library. Seat on receipt of 16e---colo or stampa. P. Von Boeckmans, R. 1260 Termiaa! Bidg.. 103 Part Free Trial 3 ft. 8 in, long 1 ft. 8 in. wide 1 ft. 9 in. high Better than Scotch Better than Irish G « W Canadian Whisky Distilled by Gooderham & Worts, Limited, Toroato, Canada Better than Bourbon Better than Rye examination—allcharges pret tedvance. Writetnday for free ilurtrated booklet. special prices ‘ring measure, WHITE VALLEY GEM CO, B173 Saks Bldg. [adianapotis. lod ‘ADD OR SUBTRACT, QUICK. ! ple Yo operate. Capacity $998,990.59. Aly reeks to kero. Sauk Teturmea it wet 24 machioe made for the price, Sead your order J. H, BASSETT & CO., Dept. 106, 5921 Teélana Avenoe, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com