Judge, 1912-01-27 · page 6 of 24
Judge — January 27, 1912 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains satirical commentary on early 1900s American developments, presented as a fake geography lesson. **The Main Cartoon** (top) shows a book agent pitching to a man in a studio; the caption mockingly asks readers to identify who told the agent "Jones would surely be interested"—implying the pitch was absurdly wrong. **"Primary Lessons in Geography"** then sarcastically "explains" the Panama Canal's true purposes: not global commerce, but serving wealthy industrialists (J.P. Morgan's yacht), enabling development schemes (Flagler's railroad to Key West), and generating exhibition revenue like a world's fair. **The satire targets**: - Corruption and cronyism in canal construction - Wasteful government spending ($20+ million) - The pretense that projects serve the public rather than elites **"For Effeminate Men"** jokes that only men read women's newspaper sections—inverting era stereotypes about feminine interests. The humor assumes readers shared cynicism about wealthy industrialists controlling major infrastructure projects.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FIND THE MAN WHO TOLD THE BOOK AGENT THAT JONES WOULD SURELY BE INTERESTED. Primary Lessons in Geography. CARLETON G. GARRETSON, Instructor. THE PANAMA CANAL. THs unique and expensive aqueduct is being constructed in order that San Francisco may have an excuse for being the site of the greatest world’s fair yet, and that J. P. Morgan's yacht, the United States navy, and the seven or eight ships of the merchant marine of this country may commute between the Golden Gate and Hell Gate and all way points with less time and expense. It gives an excuse for continuing Mr. Flagler’s* Florida East Coast Rail- way to Key West, at a cost of $20,000,- 000 more to its intrepid builder. It will also allow the Columbia River salmon to spawn in the tributaries of the Hud- son, thus reducing the price of that dainty in the Eastern restaurants, and will make it possible for the Eastern magazines to be read in the Western States during the month of issue. The French started the Panama Canal as an outlet for their enthusiasm and accumu- lated capital, but the whistle blew be- fore they had completed it. Uncle Sam's shovel gang have progressed nicely with it, the only snags they have struck be- ing roots whose trunks were located in FOR EFFEMINATE MEN. First emancipated woman—'' Do you read the women’s sections of the Sunday papers ?”” Second emancipated woman — “* Horrors! No, my dear; those departments are only fit for men."’ Washington, some miles distant. When the canal is completed it will be the most expensive exhibit in the country, not excluding the capitol at Albany, N. Y., and Senator Clark’s cottage on Fifth Avenue, New York. Ships will be required to pay a high rate of admis- sion, and there will be no rain checks, critics’ complimentary passes, or frank- ing privileges. The keys to the locks of the canal will be kept in large structures at either end. As woman suffrage will undoubtedly prevail by the time the stream is thrown open to the public, these will be called fortresses rather than forts. This innovation will turn North America into an island, thus add- ing one more to our long list of island possessions. It is the intention to keep it open winter and summer, as the only harmful ice in that region is found sub- merged in high balls, gin rickeys, ete. The geography class should make it a point to visit the canal as early as pos- sible, before all points along its line of flow are grabbed by ticket speculators, moving-picture photographers, and con- servation cranks. Those wishing to know more about the canal should con- sult the Congressional Record. comicbooks.com