Judge — January 27, 1912 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

(Continued from preceding page.) I knowed it all de time Kentucky State Journal. a “Who was the hero of Cowpens?” asked the teacher. An awful silence follows, which is at last broken by the little snub-nosed boy inthe back row, who cries, in a piping voice, ‘‘Sitting Bull.’’—Boston Tran- seript. a A ship was launched at New York, the other day, called Chanticleer. The ships’ crew as it slid down the ways. —Cincinnati Saturday Night. Don’t see how that ship can lay to. We never knew a chanticleer that could even lay one.— Yaweob Strauss. A While visiting the Louvre, in Paris, alady showed the Venus of Milo to her little daughter. ‘‘But tell me, mam- ma,’’ asked the child, ‘‘what did they cut her arms off for?’’ “Because she was always sucking her thumb.’” Her daughter asked no more. aA A party of young ladies visit the Ob- servatory to have a peep through the monster telescope at the new comet. The astronomer conducts them to the instrument and the ladies look through inturns. ‘‘Oh, Laura! isn’t it charm- ing, enchanting, wonderful?"’ and so on, ad libitum. After a while the sly astronomer ob- serves, ‘‘Now, ladies, I will remove the cover and place the instrument in posi- tion, if you allow me."’ a Boston miss—‘‘You don't mean to say you have given the Rev. Dr. Puritan a call?” Omaha man—‘‘Indeed, we have, and he is to leave Boston next month."’ Boston miss --‘‘Of all persons! Why, he is the most unpopular preacher in Boston !"" Omaha man—‘‘He is? the matter with him? Boston miss—‘‘Oh, he’s so hopelessly, deeply, darkly, and benightedly ortho- dox!"’—Omaha World. a Why, what's It was in a prohibition town. Mr. Jones met Mr. Brown and inquired, “Did you hear of Mr. Smith's misfor- tune?” “No. What was it?’’ “He left home all right yesterday morning, and during the day he had one of his old attacks, and was brought home paralyzed."” “What? Paralyzed! Why, I didn’t know there was a saloon open in the whole town, Say, where did he get it?” —Merchant Traveler. a _ Sam Johnsing was up before the jus- tice the other day. The justice told him that telling the whole truth about the matter would be regarded as a mitigat- ing circumstance. Sam said he would Every lover of a good cocktail should call for Abbott's Bitters. Makes the best. C. W, Abbott & Co. Baltimore, Md. ht cant Ss oil LW in rown ‘Bottles It is not enough to make pure beer, it must be sept pure until it is poured into your glass. Beer is a saccharine product. The slight- est taint of impurity injures its healthfulness. Light starts decay even in pure beer. Dark glass, the scientists say, gives protection against light. Purity above everything else distinguishes Schlitz beer from common beer. Li A WY We use the costliest materials — we age Schlitz for months to prevent biliousness — it will not ferment in your stomach. Schlitz is sent to you in Brown Bottles, thus protecting Schlitz | . |purity from the brewery to your glass. Without all these precautions no beer can be healthful, and who knowingly would drink beer that was not? we know about beer, you would say, “Schlitz—Schlitz in Brown Bottles.’”’ If you knew what e Odiria cate flonijounstealeeymaey: See that crown or cork is branded ‘*Schlitz.’? The BeerThat Made Milwaukee Famous Marianne, the engineer's lovely daugh- ter, was carried with the debris and ascended with frightful velocity in the direction of the clouds. As she flew heavenward, the employes held their breath and closed their eyes—the spec- tacle was fearful to witness. But Young John, the assistant, who had ad- mired Marianne from afar, was alive to the emergency. Seizing a flying ma- chine, upon which he had just obtained a patent that morning, he strapped it to his broad, manly back, and, spreading the wings of the machine, vowed he “*Well, then, how many | you steal?” “Only five, jedge."” “Are you sure, Sam, that you didn’t have more?"’ “Yes, sah; 1 know dar was only five, tell the truth. chickens did becase I counted ’em. Dar was three yin’ hens, four roosters, and two pul- "Texas Siftings. a From the Novel of the Future. “There was a loud noise like the re- port of an overcharged cannon, the bursted boiler sent the splintered iron and steaming vapor high in the air. (Continued om following page) In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com