Judge, 1912-01-27 · page 16 of 24
Judge — January 27, 1912 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes prominent public figures through fake "detective case files." The Detective Bureau, headed by "C. G. NOSTERRAG" (an anagram), humorously investigates suspicious citizens. **Case 496** targets a radical journalist—described as mentally unstable, refusing meals, and carrying a club. The satire mocks reform-minded reporters as dangerously eccentric. **Case 2323** appears to profile a newspaper publisher: bald, prone to tripping, claiming he won't run for president. The exaggerated biography suggests a well-known publisher of the era (unclear from the image alone). **Case 711** describes someone attempting to force education onto unreceptive students, then targeting trusts, now aspiring to the presidency. His family supports him; he's deemed "harmless." **Case 6321** depicts an agitator stirring controversy with scientific instruments and a blue pencil—likely a muckraking journalist attacking institutions. The humor relies on recognizing these as parodies of actual reformers and radicals, mocking their activism as suspicious, mentally unbalanced behavior requiring official surveillance.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
C. G. NOSTERRAG, Cnier oF Detectives, (The managers of this department have employed a corps of sleuths, all of whom have proved their competency by passing examinations in the works of Sherlock Holmes, Burns, and other successful trailers, and by having watched for some time the operations of ferrets, bloodhounds, and muck-rakers, They are prepared to undertake detecting jobs of all descriptions. Terms or application. Nearly everything confidential. The results of a few recent in- vestigations follow. ] CASE No. 496—This man has been a suspicious charac- ter for some time. Under the cover of a position as reporter on a weekly sheet, he is spending his leisure time in do- ing peculiar things, such as calling people names and refus- ing invitations to dinner on the ground that he is not hungry — an unheard-of condi- tion for a journal- istto bein. When this man was re- leased from an in- stitution for the strong-minded four years ago, it was thought that he was entirely cured; but the relapse seems to have made him more violent than he wasoriginally. His favorite unconcealed weapon, a mam- moth club, Which was for some time in storage, has been shined up and put into working order. Hence the suspect is liable to become dangerous. He is being watched by a great many others besides the employes of Jupce’s Agency. Case No. 496. CASE No. 2323—This man is full grown, possesses a bald head, a livery stable full of hobbies, and a large quan- tity of hope. He is a newspaper pub- lisher, but, nevertheless, is said to be quite truthful. He has made many things in his life, among them being friends, enemies, mistakes, money, wills, excitement, and trouble. He has never actually made a donkey out of him- self, although he has attempted to make himself out of a donkey. He is some- thing of a runner, having backed him- Case No. 2323. self in his first race at the odds of 16 to 1, and finished on the back stretch. This man has a wonderful choice of lan- guage, but a poor choice of subjects. His inability to cross a platform without tripping’ has become notorious. He states that he will not be elected President of the United States next November, and this Service hereby reports that he is speaking sanely and truthfully. This subject is giv- ing Jupce’s Agency little anxiety. CASE No. 711 —Suspect has a dark past and a darker future, al- though he is by no means what is known as a dark horse. His first folly was to at- tempt to force knowledge into the heads of a conglomeration of young men, when these receptacles were already crammed full of other material— a physically impossible undertaking which he subsequently gave up. Being a foe to the trusts, he attempted to de- plete the funds of one of them by having himself placed on a retired pension list financed by the trust’s owner. This scheme not succeeding, he decided to vent his spite on the country at large by attempting to become its President. His aspirations are looked upon with favor by his immediate family. This man is thought to be perfectly harmless and will not be shadowed any longer. Case No. 711. CASE No. 6321 —This wily indi- vidual is engaged in stirring up foods, feuds, and fads. He has been seen by our detective with many dangerous weapons in his possession, among them being a microscope, a test tube, and a blue pencil. He occasionally becomes violent, and was recently seen to attack a mince pie, accusing it of masquerad- ing as a modern and harmless type, when in reality it belonged to the crust- acean period. This case will probably give us a great deal more uneasiness. comicbooks.com