Judge — December 23, 1911 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Christmas Circular Letters. S IS well known, the bestower of Christmas gifts rarely knows what to bestow, while the bestowed upon is, upon receipt of the bestowed, disgusted both with the bestowed and the be- stowee. How may these marring circum- stances be avoided? By a very simple and sensible plan, whereby every pro- spective giver of gifts will be put in touch with the wants and don’t-wants of his friends, by means of circular letters setting forth the same. -These letters, it can readily be seen, will eliminate much of the trouble and dissatisfaction attending the Christmas season, and their judicious use, with such modifica- tions as are necessary, will not only bring about a better state of things for their senders, but will have a tendency to greatly relieve the troubles and wor- ries, and mayhap retain the sanity, of their recipients. These missives should be mailed about December 15th, and should read in substance as follows: December 15th, 1911. Dear Mr. (Mrs or Miss)—As we once more approach the gift-giving, holiday period, I, with the idea of doing what I can toward bringing about a less worri- some and more joyous feeling in the hearts of my friends, write you (and the others) this letter. The fundamental evils which the let- ter aims to overcome are as detailed below. You have, during many past seasons, done me the honor to send me a Christ- mas present, and you have without doubt given the selection of a suitable gift much worry and nerve-racking consid- eration, only to burden me in the end with something for which I did not care and for which I had no use; I, in my turn, have had the same difficulties to overcome in the selection of a gift for By HARVEY PEAKE. you, which you no doubt disliked as greatly as I did the one you sent to me. Now, it has occurred to me that the application of a little common sense to this problem would prevent it from be- coming an annual calamity, and would, in a measure, restore to the gift-giv- ing custom its original and intended charm. With this end in view, and that you may know clearly what I want and what I don’t want, I append two lists (with approximate prices attached in the “Things Wanted”’ column), that you, in your selection of a gift for me, may be governed thereby: “THE ETERNAL QUESTION " (just at present). Things Not Wanted: 1. Cut-glass ink well. 2. Velvet slippers, with embroidered rosebuds. 3. Pale-violet necktie. 4. Bronze candlestick. 5. Hand-painted ash tray. 6. ‘‘The Secret of Wealth,’’ bound in red morocco. 7. Pink silk pajamas. 8. Subscription to the ‘Missionary Tidings.’’ 9. Pearl-handled manicure set. 10. Pink satin pincushion in the form of a leg. Things Wanted: 1. Piano tuned ($2). 2. Two suits of union underwear ($5). 3. Plaster crack in bathroom ceiling mended ($1.50). 4. Oraer on the barber for haircut, shampoo, and shave (75 cents). 5, Kitchen clock overhauled ($1). 6. Receipted gas bill for November ($4.80). 7. Coal to any reasonable amount. 8. Subscription to the ‘Sporting World” ($3). 9. Corkscrew (10 cents). 10. Oak timber for mending dining- room chairs, in the form of two legs ($1.50). Knowing that you will have the com- mon sense to see the practicability of this method of procedure, and awaiting a similar communication from you, I am, Yours with the season's compliments, John W. Levelhead. To the Manner Born. Jones was born with a silver spoon In his mouth, if reports are true. To judge by the way He eats every day, He was born with a knife there, too. Began the New Year Well. Hill—'I began the new year well.”” Dill— How was that?" Hill—‘ Why, I wasn’t sick when it was ushered in.”” comicbooks.com