Judge, 1911-12-23 · page 15 of 24
Judge — December 23, 1911 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece depicts a pushy **book saleswoman** invading the office of a businessman named Squelcher, who clearly wants to work. The humor lies in her unstoppable chattiness and shameless sales tactics. The cartoon mocks **aggressive door-to-door salesmen and canvassers**—a common nuisance in the early 20th century. Despite Squelcher's obvious attempts to dismiss her (saying he's busy), she barges past his secretary, ignores his hints, and launches into an endless monologue mixing flattery, personal observations, and sales pitch. The satire targets how such salespeople exploit politeness and use manipulative techniques: mentioning she knows people like him, asking about his family name, praising his office plants, and draping her pitch as a "public benefaction." The title "The Defeat of Squelcher" suggests that even this apparently stern, busy man cannot resist or escape her relentless charm offensive—a humorous commentary on the vulnerability of businessmen to persistent saleswomen of her era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GALL ignoring the sign the somewhat bedraggled little woman of five feet one and a half turned the highly polished brass knob of Squelcher’s office door and walked into the outer sanctuary, beyond which no one was ex- pected to pass until the name had been taken in to Squelcher. “Mr. Squelcher in?’’ asked the little woman of the boy in a green uniform with brass buttons. “He is, ma’am; but’?—— “Then I will see him,’’ she said graciously, as she gently pushed the boy aside and opened the ma- hogany gate over which he was keeping guard. “But, ma’am, he doesn’t see people until’’—— “That so, boy? You don’t say!’ With this she approached the door of Squelcher and walked in. She was so palpably a forbidden agent that Squelcher’s frown would have caused cold chills to travel up and down the average spine, but it had no such effect on the little woman. “*Good-morning, Mr. Squelch- er,’’ she said, with the air of a person addressing an inferior. “I hope you are well this morn- ing. But, then, any one ought to be well with such lovely weather as we are having. Such a nice, pleasant office as you have, once you get up here! That's a fine rubber plant you have! The leaves look so glossy and healthy, and there’s a new one coming out, isn’t there? I like to see plants in a man’s office. Shows refinement. It’s a theory of mine that when ‘a man loves plants and flowers there can never be anything so very bad about him. You take a man that’?—— “Excuse me, madam; but this is a very busy morning with me, and’’——. “Of course it is! I wonder if there is any morning when you are not busy. Do you know that you look to me like a man who could never do anything else but keep busy? Seems to me you have ‘I do things’ written all over you. Then, of course, a man at the head of so many great enterprises as you are would The Defeat of Squelcher. naturally have little idle time on his hands. But, then, I am always busy myself; and, do you know, I am glad of it. I ama person who always likes to be doing something. That’s one reason why I took up canvassing. It puts one out into the world of action and sweeps you along with the great, restless, ir- resistible tide of— If you don’t mind, I will sit down. Thanks.’”” She helped herself to a chair before adding, “Your name, Mr. Squelcher, has been AND HE THINKS THAT HE 18 LUCKY! given to me as that of a person sure to be greatly interested in a set of books I am giving a few carefully selected per- sons the privilege of purchasing at a rate much less than that offered to the general public. This is because, Mr. Squelcher, we know the value of a name like yours on our books, and we— By the way, are you related to the Squelch- ers of Chicago? 1 spent several weeks in Chicago last year and remember meeting some charming people named Squelcher. It’s an old English name, isn’t it? It has akind of an English sound, and it seems to me that J once saw somewhere the Squelcher coat of arms, Now, where was it I saw that? I feel sure that I saw it somewhere, and it seems to me that the Chicago Squelch- ers said something about ittome. They were people of high intelligence and great refinement, and they took two sets of the book I have consented to act as agent for, partly because I think that it is a kind of a public benefaction to help disseminate really good reading matter in this day when there is so much that is poor and even perni- cious in circulation in the way of literature. The publishers of the set of books I am letting you see asked me this morning if I had yet given you the privilege of seeing the books, and I’’—— “Beg your pardon, madam; but I don’t care to’’—— “*What a fine-looking young fel- low that is in the photograph in the frame on your desk! Your son? Do you know that I was sure that it was your son the moment I looked at it? Resembles you very closely, but I should say that he had hardly your firmness of char- acter. His chin is not quite so Square as yours, but that may change as he grows older. Any- thing I do admire in a man, it's firmness of character. These men who are moved by every wind that blows claim little of my ad- miration or respect. One has only to look at you to see that you are a man of great force of character. And do you know that it really takes a man of that kind to fully appre- ciate a set of books like those I am let- ting you see? I want you to see the binding, because I am sure that it will appeal to a man of your superior and critical literary taste quite as much as the contents of the book. Do you know that I think that a beautfiul and artistic binding adds so much to the enjoyment of a book? I would rather have one handsomely and artistically bound book than a dozen books just as good in their real literary quality, but in poor and cheap binding. I knew that you would be interested in the binding as soon as I saw the artistic and harmonious effects in your office. The cute little office boy comicbooks.com