Judge — December 16, 1911 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The City Youngster. His stockings he’ll arrange with faith- ful care, Although no fireplace helps his Christmas game. He'll hang them to the radiator, where Old Santa Claus will find them just the same. —Washington Star. Frightful.—A young Boston woman, extremely athletic, rides very well, and, seated astride her horse, she resembles a beautiful boy. Riding one day in her masculine habit, she had the misfortune to be thrown. An old sea captain has- tened to her aid. Raising her gently, he touched a corset, and shouted in wild alarm to a bystander, ‘‘Get a doctor, quick! Here’s a young chap’s ribs runnin’ north and south instead of east and west!'’—Mariners’ Advocate. A Modern Mark Antony.—‘‘If you have tears, prepare to shed them now,” is the advice given by their counsel to all prisoners on trial in California. A jury of ladies at Tropico recently insisted upon returning a verdict in opposition to the ruling of the judge, when the plaintiff in the case wept piteous tears before them.— Bellman. Orthodox. —‘‘If St. James’s Bible was good enough for St. Paul, it is good enough for me.’’ This was the em- phatic protest of a New England deacon against the reading of the Revised in- stead of the King James Version.—Con- gregationalist, Prodigies. —Jones—‘‘Yes, sir, that boy of mine isa piano player. Why, he can play with his toes!"” How old is he?”” Fifteen.’" I’ve got a boy at home who can play with his toes, and he’s only one year old.""—Catholic News. Going Up.—It was a dark morning, and Mr. Dorkins was groping around in the basement, when somebody suddenly flashed a dark lantern on him, Mechanically he threw up his hands. “I’m the gas-meter inspector,’’ ex- plained the intruder. Whereupon Mr. Dorkins held his hands up still higher.—Chicago Tribune. The Real Puzzle.—Father (impress- ively)—'Suppose I should be taken away suddenly. What would become of you, my boy?’" Irreverent son—‘‘I'd stay here. The question is, What would become of you?’’—-West Chester Critic. Fresh.—Lady customer (in department store)—‘Have you anything to keep hair from falling?” Clerk—‘‘Hairpins, two counters to the right, madam.”—Boston Tran- script. Knew Where. — Teacher — ‘Tommy, where is Mexico?’’ Tommy—‘‘On page ten of the jog- raphy, miss.""—Red Hen. The piquancy of a Sherbet is attained by using a dash of Abbott's Bitters. Sample of bittera by mail, 25 cta. in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Balti- more, Md. In answering adve:tisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. Richest Beer It's the Pabst exclusive 8-day malt that makes Pabst BlueRibbon The Beer of Quality the richest, most wholesome beer, and it 8 Pabst exclusive rocess that gives it the delicate flavor and appetizing zest that is so Wel and Mouse Offers All Ree £/ That is Best in Hotel Life 2 ” 4 Recognized for years as the headquarters of New York's Tepresentative visitors from every state in the union. g Asranged, appointed and conducted under an established system of Hotel == be Management that has long catered to public demand. Gs, HOTEL PERFECTION AT CONSISTENT RATES > BOOKLET 5) Ny, Sth Ave. and 30th St A SHOP _EARLY @Buy your Christmas presents early—early in the day and early in December. That will be your biggest gift of the holidays to the workers behind the counters and on the delivery wagons. comicbooks.com