Judge — December 16, 1911 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BARRIERS. “Is there anything between you and Miss Van Doh ?"" “* Only her father and motber.”" Christmas Aphorisms. By HARVEY PEAKE EVER look a gift in the cost mark. Mistletoe makes the heart grow fonder. All that glitters is not a diamond. Belief in Santa Claus is the best policy. The gift deferred maketh the heart sick, Invitation is the sincerest flattery. Christmas bills are stubborn things. Buy gifts in haste and repent at lei- sure. And thereby hangs a stocking. Gifts are seldom what they seem. Every Christmas tree must stand on its own bottom. Uneasy lies the head that’s planning gifts, Santa Claus is not as red as he is painted. One Christmas bargain sale makes the whole of womankind spin. Gifts make the man, the want of them the fellow. To give hideous gifts is human, to forgive impossible. Of two undesirable invitations to din- ner, choose the least. It is a wise merchant that knows his own goods when it is brought back for exchange. What is sauce for the goose is not sauce for the plum pudding. L° = NG stockings are quite popular just now. Business. HE WAS a sentimental young girl and had de- voted much time and tender thought to the home decora- tions for Christmas. Her surprise may be imagined when she came downstairs one morning and found the decorations moved around. The mistletoe boughs, that had been half hidden in se- cluded places, had been sub- stituted for the holly wreaths and were now hung in the front windows, in plain view of passers-by. “Say, sister,’ explained her little brother, ‘‘you've had that mistletoe hanging up for nearly a week and you haven’t had a single cus- tomer. You're not up-to- date. What you want to do is to advertise.” Deo Gratis. HE VISITS of St. Nicholas No longer cause regret, For I've learned to be real thankful For the gifts I didn’t get. a MAGNETIC ATTRACTION. “* Ella seems to attract the’men, doesn’t she?’’ “ Naturally, her father is a big'steel magnate."” Christmas Conviction. By LA TOUCHE HANCOCK [™ GETTING bald, I am extremely stout, And do not hesitate To say that Santa Claus is getting out Of date. This present-giving is quite overdone, This tipping is a sin. “Merry,’’ indeed! I don’t see where the fun Comes in. I'm very weary of this festive scene Of peace and joy, Yet I suppose that once I must have been boy. Maybe these pleasures then were my delight. You ask me, ‘‘Why not now?”" Well, how to feel the same I do not quite Know how. Yet in this grumpy state I must confess I am alone, And so I’ll make the others’ happiness My own! Forestalled. ["'s NICE just now to think of Christ- mas joys, Of mistletoe, and how she must adore you; But there is nothing half so much annoys ‘As when you find your rival there be- fore you. comicbooks.com