Judge — December 16, 1911 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i ) Invention Needed, Mr. Edison! By GRACE McKINSTRY. ‘While the appearance of cninoline gowns in Paris may excite torebodings. the New Yorkt Werld does not think Roop-ekirts will way revived.” ‘are noc adapted to ‘modern conditions of congestion." i says,) ERHAPS there’s little question That modern street congestion Would sometimes interfere with hoops; but if some way is found To shut them, like umbrellas, Our Janes and Isabellas, By closing them in crowded cars, could wear them, I’ll be bound! WHY GIRLS LEAVE HOME. Edith— Ethel—""1 don't. Remember how we used dishes for a family of twelve ?"’ Growth of the Farm. E NOTICE the jokes about farmers grow less, For the farmer himself has grown smart, as you guess; And he grows bigger crops by a very great deal, So he grows rather wealthy and buys a 'mobile! By a Combination. N SPITE of the complaint over high prices, it is generally agreed that silk stockings should be kept well up. “Oh, dear me! I wish we were home again.’ gn Vv i He ENTER MR. SMALLTIP. Always Possible. Stella—'*You can’t put an old head on young shoulders. "” Bella—'‘But you can put a new waist line on any aged woman.” > Advice to Employes. Earnest young man—‘‘Have you any advice to a struggling young employe?"’ Frank old gentleman—‘‘Yes. Don't work.”” Earnest young man—‘‘Don't work?" Frank old gentleman —‘‘No. Become an employer."’ Watered Silk. ITTLE drops of water, In the can of milk, Bring the milkman’s daughter Pretty gowns of silk. A Drawback. Sage--'‘Know thyself.”” Cynic—‘‘What’s the use? It’s not an acquaintance from whom you can borrow money.’” Ran in the Family. Mrs. Jenks—‘‘Mr. Billington is such a nice man and not at all shy that I really can’t under- stand why he remains a bach- elor."” Mrs. Tolker (absent-mindedly)—‘‘Oh, I presume it is hereditary. His father and grandfather before him were bach- elors probably.” to do Looking Too Oft. “ce ICE... + + + Seen too oft, familiar with its face, We first endure, then pity, then em- brace."* And so it is with fashion’s freaks. We hoot, We tolerate, and then we follow suit. Terrell Love Holliday. The Recipe. By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS HO HOLDS the love of fellow-men Secure within his heart for aye, Who uses mind and voice and pen To spread good-will along the way, Who seeks to give all others peace, To set the whole sweet world in chime, Will find the joys that never cease And endless Christmastime. Alarming. OBINSON, the aviator, who, flying from St. Paul to New Orleans, dropped a bolt from his machine at an altitude of three thousand feet, alarmed the spectators, who imagined that Robin- son himself was falling. There is other cause for alarm, however, in the inci- dent. A bolt falling from that altitude is moving at the rate of four hundred and forty feet a second when it stops. Old-time cannon could give no harder blow. Anything struck by such an ob- ject would be converted into fragments. The risk of such occurrences will per- haps become serious, especially in fre- quented air lanes over inhabited regions. People will have to live in cellars or stringent regulations will have to be made for their protection. No Chances. Tommy—'‘I don’t believe there’s a Santa Claus, and I’m going to tell mamma 80, too.’’ Willie—‘‘Are you really?’ Tommy —‘‘Yes, 1 am—the day after Christmas."’ Compromise. Knicker — ‘‘Trou- bles never come sin- gly.”” Bocker—“No; sometimes they come divorced.”’ comicbooks.com