Judge, 1911-12-16 · page 10 of 24
Judge — December 16, 1911 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains humorous short pieces satirizing romantic and domestic situations of the early 20th century. **"Ye Fytte of Ye Old and New Loves"** is a poem about a man caught between an old girlfriend (described as athletic—"rowed on her college crew") and a new love. When the old girlfriend learns of his infidelity, she physically beats him, forcing his return to her. The satire mocks male infidelity and the powerlessness of men facing assertive women. **"Seeing Double"** jokes about an intoxicated passenger who literally sees two versions of the conductor, then uses this as an excuse to his friends—ironically proving he was already claiming to see double before drinking. **"She Didn't Get It"** depicts a librarian's frustration with a patron (Mrs. Sillyone—a play on "silly one") who provides vague, rambling details about a book she wants, revealing upper-class women's impracticality. **"Puzzling"** and **"Reconnoitered"** are brief humorous anecdotes about children's innocent but embarrassing observations about adult behavior. The overall tone gently ridicules social pretension and gender dynamics of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Ye Fytte of Ye Old and New Loves. TRIED to be off with the old love Before I was on with the new, But the old love she was a bold love, Who'd rowed on her college crew; And when she had heard of the new love— Alas! that my tale is true!— She walloped me black and blue, love— She walloped me black and blue! And so I am back with the old love, By the old-time chimney flue— There’s nothing so cold as a cold love The universe through and through. And here I am dreaming of you, love, And what I shall whisper to you When I have got rid of my shrew, love— Ye gods! if I ever do! A. SUFFERAN MANN. Seeing Double. Conductor—‘‘ We're traveling in two sections to-night.’” Slightly intoxicated passenger— “Thatsh right. Justh what I've been trying to tell m’ friends. Of coursh you are, and I can see both shections of you, too, conductor.’’ MISJUDGED. She Didn't Get It. 6s"T'HERE is a certain book in the library that I want,”’ said Mrs. Sillyone to the librarian of forty thou- sand volumes. ‘‘I can’t recall the title nor the name of the author, but it isa book of probably three or four hundred pages, and it is bound in dark green and the title is in gold letters on it. It is a story of a nobleman who discovers, after he has married a lady of wealth and title, that he is a changeling and that a certain blacksmith in the town is the real nobleman. A friend of mine has read it and she is very anxious to have me read it. As I say, I cannot re- member the title of the book or the name of the author, but it is a book of about average size, and I wish that you would get it for me as quick as you can, for my husband is waiting for me in our car out in front of the library, and it always irritates him to be kept waiting. I'd like the book right away, please.” Bg not resentful at the misfit present. By C. LESLIE VAN EVERY. [™ NOTHING but a kid, I know; If you don’t b’lieve that it is so, Why, you just go and ask my dad, And find out, too, if I am bad. He'll speak right up and say to you, A better kid he never knew; Then turn around—I mean my dad— The Christmas Day when all are glad (An’ company is at our place, An’ ma has made me wash my face), An’ it is time for us to eat The turkey an’ the stuff that’s sweet, An’ pass a drum-stick to Aunt Kate, An’ dish the neck out on my plate. Now, I just know my head ain’t thick, But I don’t quite see through dad’s trick. Reconnoitered. MA™™a was dressing when seven- year-old Freddy burst into the room with a loud ‘‘Boo!"” “‘Why, Freddy, dear,’’ expostulated she, ‘‘you mustn’t open my door with- out knocking! I mightn’t have been dressed at all!’” “Oh, this was all right!’’ said Freddy. “T looked through the keyhole first.” comicbooks.com