Judge — December 9, 1911 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tobacco, whether smoked or chewed, will soon sain the teeth dark and yellow. SMOKERS' TOOTHPASTE is especially prepared to neutralize the tobacco poisoned secretions of the mouth; it will wbiten the most stained teeth and keep the mouth ani throat clean and pare. No hard serub- bing necessary. Write for fuller description of this ‘oecessary luxury,"” of better sill, send 25 cieaaps orcarexy fOrTube SMOKERS’ TOOTHPASTE COMPANY 1D West 38th Street, New York City 4 A SMORER ey BOWL OF THE PIPE | twiet cleans the byw! after every fi Stetline-allver mounted. Correspondence from all dealers desired. | Beet. 13, “Defi” Pipes, 131 West 3tat St., Freight Prepaid East of the Mississippi Sie wide 20in. Sch Couches, also (oterestion “The Story of Ret Cs rect fun fatore AT FACTORY PRICES PIEDMONT RED CEDAR CHEST CO... Dept-32, Stateville, N.C. HOTEL RUDOLF ATLANTIC CITY, N. J. On the Ocean Front. Offering every appointment for comfort and luxury. Hot and cold sea and fresh water in all baths. Always Open American and European plans. JOEL HILLMAN, President, A. S. RUKEYSER, ~ Don't Wear call Truss In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. New York As to Queer Names. The man from Punxsutawney and the man from Kokomo Discussed the Chinese troubles, and the first said, ‘Don’t you know, I think these Chinese names are queer enough to stop a clock.’” “That's right!’? replied another man from fair Caucomgomoc. The man from Kokomo observed, ‘By ginger! that’s a fac’! That’s what my brother says—he lives down here in Hackensack. And still another stranger said the man’s comment was true; And added, with a smile of pride, ‘‘My home’s in Kal’mazoo."’ Another man took up the strain, ‘‘Now, down Skowhegan way And up at Ypsilanti we speak it every day. The names are all uncivilized and heathen in their ring. That’s what I told my uncle yesterday in Ishpeming.” “‘Hohokus is my native town,’’ another stranger said; “And I *hink all these Chinese names the worst I ever read."” “Quite true,’’ agreed a quiet man; “‘they’re certainly uncanny. That’s what my neighbors all assert in Tail Holt, Indianny.’’ —Baltimore American, What Was Wanted.—A clerk showed forty patterns of ginghams to a man whose wife had sent him to buy some for her for Christmas, and at every pat- tern the man said, ‘‘My wife said she didn’t want anything like that.’” The clerk put the last piece back on the shelf. ‘*Sir,’’ he said,.‘*you don’t want gingham. What you want is a di- vorce.’’—Joe Miller's Joke Book, Unappreciated. Said the bride, ‘‘Here’s my first batch of biscuit! Just wait! cuit!” How the poor woman cried When her hubby replied, “Let it burn! I don’t think I should riscuit!’” From the oven I'll whis- —Philadelphia Press. Modest.—'‘ What a modest man he is!’" “Why?” “He got a raise in pay the other day and didn’t claim [that it was unsolic- ited.""—Detroit Free Press. The Pipes. The pipes of Pan—where are they now? The melody of summer Is still, and Pan, with ruffled brow, Is looking for a plumber. —Washington Star. “No Three O’clock Fatigue” The quiet, unruffled, self-poised operator, whose work is always on time—the one "at the who shows no trace of ‘* nerves end of her day's work—finds in one of the exclusive features of the Monarch Typewriter her greatest aid to Promptness ‘3 o'clock fatigue.” Monarch 7220h Send for Monarch Literature Learn the many reasons for Monarch superiority. Then try the Monarch, and be convinced that Monarch merit rests in the machine jtself, not merely in what we tell you about it. THE Monarch Typewriter Company EXECUTIVE OFFICES 300 BROADWAY NEW YORK and assurance against * That feature is | plateaae Memory of friendship: made fast by sy R ye **Same for 100 years"* Ased in the wood n_the wood and bo OF BRAINS IGARS “MADE AT KEY WEST comicbooks.com