Judge, 1911-12-09 · page 23 of 28
Judge — December 9, 1911 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily a **Schlitz beer advertisement** dominating the right side of the page, with humorous anecdotes filling the left column. **The Main Advertisement:** The ad addresses a common complaint about beer: the "skunk" taste. Schlitz explains this off-flavor results from light exposure and claims their brown bottles prevent this by protecting the beer from light damage. The ad emphasizes their rigorous brewing process (filtered air, aged for months, sterilized bottles) to assure purity. **The Humor Section (Left):** Contains several short jokes typical of *Judge* magazine's satirical style: - A Canadian's misunderstanding about reindeer (plays on the snow/reindeer confusion) - A porter using a lady's hat pin to remove dust from her eye - A child feeling neglected after a new baby arrives, lamenting "too much competition" - A farmer's innocent misinterpretation of "bust" when shopping for a shirt waist These represent early-20th-century domestic humor aimed at middle-class readers, featuring wordplay and innocent misunderstandings.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Has and the Are. I'd rather be a Could Be, If I could not be an Are; For a Could Be is a May Be, With a chance of touching par. I'd rather be a Has Been Than a Might Have Been, by far; For a Might Have Been has never been, But a Has was once an Are. —Blue Bull. As He Understood It.—A young Cana dian came to Washington last winter and was making a Christmas call upon a very pretty young woman whom he met for the first time. “Do you have reindeer in Canada?”? asked the young lady. “No, darling,'’’ he answered; ‘‘at this season it always snows.’’—Pelican. Porter (AT WAYSIDE STATION, WHOSE HELP IN THE MATTER OP A SPECK OP DUST HAS BEEN SOLICITED. “ALL RIGHT, MISS. I'VE GOT IT. QUICK. LEND Us our ’at-PIN.”"—London Punch, Too Much for Her.—A new baby ar- rived at a house. A little girl—now fifteen—had been the pet of the family. Every one made much of her, but when there was a new baby she felt rather neglected. ‘*How are you, Mary?"’ a visitor asked of her one afternoon. “Oh, I’m all right,’’ she said, ‘‘ex- cept that I think there is too much com- petition in this world.”"—Purple Cow. The Truth.—A teacher was reading the Christmas recitative piece to her class and came across the word ‘‘un- aware.’’ She asked if any one knew its meaning. One small girl timidly raised her hand and gave the following defini- tion: “Unaware is what you take off the last thing before you put your nightie on."’—Christian Union. it taste it to the light. The Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous That ‘‘Skunk’’ sometimes detected in pure beer is the result of exposing Light starts decay even in pure beer. gives protection against light. in Brown Bottles Dark glass Schlitz. is brewed in absolute cleanliness—cooled in filtered air— then it is aged for months, to prevent biliousness, then filtered through white wood pulp—then every bottle is sterilized and de- livered to you in brown bottles, thus protecting Schlitz purity from the brewery to your glass. If you knew what we know about beer, you would say ‘‘Schlitz —Schlitz in brown bottles.’” Order a case from your dealer today. See that crown or cork is branded ‘Schlitz 12-M He Heard Nothing.—On a business trip | to the city, a farmer decided to take home to his wife a Christmas present of ashirt waist. Going into a store and being directed to the waist department, he asked of the lady clerk to show him some. “What bust?”’ asked she. | The farmer looked around quickly and “IT don’t know; I didn’t hear Ladies’ Home Journal. answered, anything. Automobile Eye Insurance needed after Exposure to Sun, Winds and Dust. Murine Eye Remedy freely applied Affords Reliable Relief, ‘No Smarting—Just Eye Comfort—Try Murine. | A woman generously wants her equal share of burdens and heroically carries nine-tenths of them.—N. Y. Press. YOU MIGHT THINK THIS WAS THE IDEAL RESTAURANT, BUT, ALAS! THE NOTICE ONLY REFERS TO THE PIECE just PLAYED.—London Punch. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It “wit be appreciated.