Judge, 1911-12-09 · page 12 of 28
Judge — December 9, 1911 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **three humorous Christmas pieces** rather than political cartoons: 1. **"The Gay Yuletide"** (poem): Satirizes the commercialization of Christmas gift-giving—the irony that people receive duplicate presents (multiple pairs of socks, smoking jackets, ties) yet claim the "loving thoughts" matter most, not the actual gifts. 2. **"Borrowing Trouble"** (dialogue joke): A brief comic exchange where "Ned" reveals his Christmas gift to his girlfriend causes *him* endless financial pain through installment payments, turning the romantic gesture into a personal burden. 3. **"Scientific Facts about Christmas"** (satire): Mock "facts" from fictional places (Utopia, Spitzdorf) poke fun at Christmas customs—Bavaria banning ties as gifts, servants refusing tips in Russia, butlers carving roasts in "New Freeland." The humor lies in absurdist inversion of real practices. 4. **"Improved"** (dialogue): Mrs. Crabshaw admits her inferior Christmas gifts will appear acceptable once wrapped nicely—satirizing superficial presentation over substance. The page collectively mocks the gap between Christmas ideals and commercial reality, cheap gift-giving disguised by wrapping, and the financial strain of holiday obligations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Gay Yuletide. By ELIZABETH PENN THORNE. Now comes the season of the year When gifts pour in from every side, And joyous chaos reigns supreme— The hall-mark of the gay Yuletide. What matters it if half your gifts Spell repetition without end? That's not the thing that counts; it’s all The loving thoughts that people send. And so, though wrappings should disclose Half-hose enough to stock a store, And smoking-jackets line each chair, And four-in-hands are yours galore, It matters not at all, because The real joy always wiil amount Not to the way gifts classify, But to the loving thoughts they count. Borrowing Trouble. Ted—'‘I hope you gave your girl a Christmas present that will cause her to long remember you."” Ned—'‘I don’t know about that; but it's a constant reminder to me, for I bought it on the installment plan.’’ ANOTHER CHRISTMAS FIFTY YEARS AGO. Scientific Facts about Christmas. By HOMER CROY. N South America luscious fruit is eaten under an electric fan on Christ- mas Day. In St. Vladivostok, Russia, the house- hold servants refuse to take a Christmas tip. Merchants and shopkeepers in some cities in Europe don’t present their bills until two months after Christmas. A happy idea. A province in Bavaria has passed a law making it an offense to give a tie as a Christmas present. In Viaatsburg the fuel dealers present their customers with a ton of coal on Christmas Day. In New Freeland the man does not have to carve the roast, it being con- sidered better form to have the butler serve it. In Spitzdorf, Utopia, the city clears off the sidewalk free of charge Christ- mas morning. A Christmas Acrostic. Alluring associations, Mistletonian merriment, Essential enthusiasm, Restless rejoicing, Relished refreshment, Yuletide yearnings, Cheerful congeniality, Holiday heartiness, Remunerative regard, Irresistible invitations, Seasonable sentiment, Thoughtful tenderness, Monetary magnanimity, Affectionate affability, Successful surprises. Harvey Prat, Improved. Crabshaw—‘*Don’t you think, my dear, that you bought a rather inferior lot of Christmas presents to give your friends?” Mrs. Crabshaw—''They'll look all right when I've put them in these sweet little boxes and tied them up with this lovely ribbon.’’