Judge, 1911-12-02 · page 8 of 24
Judge — December 2, 1911 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"The Modern Simple Simon"** updates the nursery rhyme to mock early 20th-century food safety enforcement. A pure-food inspector poses as a customer, purchases a pie, then arrests the baker for violations (glucose in crust, inferior lard, underweight product, artificial coloring, excess soda benzoate). The joke: the pieman claims poverty while the "Simple Simon" inspector claims to have no debts—suggesting inspectors were seen as either overzealous bureaucrats or uncomfortably wealthy. This satirizes the **Pure Food and Drug Act** (1906), a progressive reform that established federal food safety standards. Judge magazine mocks both the law's strict enforcement and the inspectors' apparent hypocrisy or absurdity. **"The Quick or the Dead"** cartoon depicts a reckless motorist ("hit up speed, skidded...ran into consumption, turned turtle") as a danger to pedestrians and small animals, satirizing dangerous early automobile culture. The remaining pieces are humorous verse and social jokes unrelated to political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IN THE VERNACULAR. First chauffeur—* What has become of Aleck?" Second chauffeur—* He hit up speed, skidded on a skirt, ran into consumption, and turned turtle." The Modern Simple Simon. IMPLE Simon met a pieman, Going to the fair; Said Simple Simon to the pieman, “Let me taste your ware.’ Said the pieman to Simple Simon, “‘First show me your penny.” Whereupon Simple Simon produced the required coin, receiving in exchange therefor a pie, which he conveyed to his laboratory. Later, at the fair, the pieman was ap- prehended and placed under arrest. ‘I find,’ said Simple Simon, displaying the badge that showed him to be a pure- food inspector, ‘‘that glucose has been used in making the crust of this pie; also an inferior quality of chemical lard. Furthermore, the crust is underdone, the pie is stale, and artificial coloring has been used on the raspberries contained therein; also more than one-tenth of one per cent. of benzoate of soda. In addi- tion, the pie is under weight. We in- tend to make an example of your case. ‘The pure-food law must be obeyed."” Said the pieman to Simple Simon, “Mercy! My debts are many!"” Said Simple Simon to the pieman, “Indeed! I haven't any.’’ Reno laughs at locksmiths. Life and Love and Laughter. By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS. IFE and Love and merry Laughter— These are things we all are after. Win the second, Love, and you Soon will have the other two; Win it not, and you will be Bankrupt in the blissful three— You may Live and you may Laugh, But the harvest will be chaff. Sure Cure. Mrs. Crawford— Although my daugh- ter is such a big girl, she’s still afraid of the dark.”” Mrs, Crabshaw—‘‘Don't worry about that, my dear. She'll soon be in love.” “THE QUICK OR THE DEAD." comicbooks.com