Judge, 1911-11-25 · page 18 of 24
Judge — November 25, 1911 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page satirizes the obsessive documentation of courtship in the early 20th century. The main text humorously describes a elaborate "card system" for tracking dates—with separate cards for "Conversation," "Family," "Rivals," and crucially, a "Key" card meticulously recording types of kisses ("Stolen," "Given," "Protested," "Resisted," "Good-night"). The satire targets men who treat romance like a business ledger, even tracking every penny spent on dates (candies, flowers, theater) to ensure they're not being exploited by mercenary women. The advice to hide this note-taking suggests the absurdity: romantic interest requires deception about one's calculating nature. The bottom cartoon about "Quack" being happy because he's "sold to a vegetarian" (rather than eaten for Thanksgiving) is a separate pun unrelated to the courtship theme above it. The humor lies in mechanizing human emotion into spreadsheets—a critique of masculine emotional detachment masked as pragmatism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
cording of any unusual happening, such as a runaway horse or automobile, or possibly colliding aeroplanes, which brought you together with all formali- ties knocked endways. Then referring to, let us say, ‘‘C,"” you make note of chief points of con- versation, whether commonplace and free, or of emotional intensity. Under ‘‘F’’ would come ‘‘Family,’’ with space for recording impressions of her ma and pa, brothers, sisters, and other kin. If an orphan, that circum- stance would come under ‘‘0,”” “R"” covers ‘‘Rivals,”’ ‘‘Rambles,’’ and so forth. The ‘‘K’’ card is perhaps the most important. | In fact, we may term it the ‘‘Key”’ card, for here is kept careful count of ‘‘Kisses’’—and, as you know, these are the key to the proper under- standing of courtship. (By the way, one of our phonetic users of the system includes ‘‘Karesses’’ under this head- ing.) This card is specially ruled and subdivided, with such headings as “Stolen,’’ ‘‘Given,”’ ‘*Protested,"’ “‘Re- sisted, Easy “Good-night,”” and several others. It will generally be found that several of the “‘K”’ cards are required, especially as your business in- creases and calls for more and more of your time. We, therefore, give a gen- erous supply of these; they are ruled to “What 's the matter, Bill? You look down- cast." “Yes; I just happen to remember that that guy up there owes me four dollars."” Nye HE DUCKED THE INEVITABLE. ‘* What makes Quack look so happy when we are all about to be sold for Thanksgiving ?”” “Hoh! He 's sold to a vegetarian.” show ‘‘Total to date” and ‘Carried for- ward,’’ so that by filing them behind each other you can tell at a glance where you are at. The foregoing illustrations show, in part, the purely emotional and senti- mental side of our system. But this is only the least portion of benefit to be derived from their adoption. “No sentiment in business’ applies as truly to this as to the raising of squabs, and it is in order that you may keep an efficient check upon the tendency to let sentiment blind your keen eye for a bargain that we now draw your atten- tion to the uses of the actual cost cards. On these are entered, each under its proper classification and date, all money expenditures, such as ‘‘Candies,’’ “‘Flowers,’’ ‘‘Car Fares,’’ ‘‘Theater,’’ “Moving Pictures,’’ ‘‘Dance,’’ ‘‘Soda,’” “Ice Cream,” ‘‘Restaurant,”’ etc., etc. In order to keep close track of the ex- penditure items, they should be care- fully noted on a small pad, at the time of purchase. To do this effectively and without rousing the young lady’s suspicions will require great tact on your part, thus giving you a valuable training. She must not be allowed to catch on, or she will shake you for a miserly dub and no sport. In making up a tabular statement, comicbooks.com