Judge — November 4, 1911 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BURGLARS DOOR bangs. Somebody coming! Yet the burglar blanches not, neither does he budge. Without meditat- ing roughness or display of firearms, he awaits unafraid. His best protection, he contends, is an enlightened public sentiment, tempering the medieval harshness of the law. A few years ago such a situation as is here depicted would have caused beads of cold sweat to glisten on a pallid face. To-day, thanks to the uplift of fiction and the stage, our burglar merely pauses between sips of a judiciously mixed highball and listens for a cue to tell him what sort of speech to begin. For a husband, for a wife, for a spirited young man or aro- mantic girl, for a trustful child, or fora cynical bachelor he knows tried and true ora- torical formulas. He is con- fident of finding a sympa- thetic audience. If he en- counters an actress he may even expect a welcome with a key to the jewel box, and thus exchange press notice for pearls in the best inter- pretation of reciprocity. This increased respect and friendliness for burglars has not been ‘unaccompanied by improvements and re- form within the profession. For example, observe that the burglar in this particu- lar instance has learned the use of a siphon and mixes his own drinks with the skill of a clubman, instead of rudely gulping them from the neck of the bottle. True, there are many bur- glars yet who are rough men, but they very generally nowadays deplore rough- house methods. They feel so much more secure them- selves that they insure the safety of their—their— Farmer—"“ wey! CHASE HIM AWAY, WILL YE, MISTER? IN THE UPLIFT. By CHARLES PHELPS CUSHING. ‘6 He listens for a cue to tell him what sort of a speech to begin."" (illustrating “*Burglars in the Uplift”) HE WON'T HURT YE—HE'S VERY GENTLE!” should we say ‘‘victims’’? (The word must stand until some one coins a substitute.) In many States the law itself helps to place burglar and householder in a more friendly attitude by prohibiting both of them from owning firearms. The uplift within the ranks of burglary is further re- flected in the improved tone of the dress of the profession. As a token of how much more honest and aboveboard his methods have become, observe that he rarely wears a mask; and it seems almost superfluous to tell an intelligent reader or play-goer that there never was a time before when so many burglars worked in dress suits and silk hats. A New York police official a few weeks ago remarked that the up-to- date burglar wears gloves on the job, to guard against leav- ing finger prints for the delectation of Bertillon ex- perts. This statement is characteristic of police stu- pidity. Gentlemen burglars wear gloves at night not be- cause they are burglars, but because they are gentlemen. Satisfied. HE DAYS of winter— Them for mine! My weight is just Two ninety-nine. Strange Sight. “ce HEN we were on Lake Michigan last sum- mer,”’ says Mrs. Mixgram- mar, ‘‘we saw a beautiful sight one afternoon. We were away out in the middle of the lake, and we steamed -past a schooner with a wo- man on it full of brick and lumber.’’ True Love. AS DEEP as the canyons, As deep as the sea, So deep am I running In debt over thee. NE thing a cigarette fiend is never in any danger of contracting is brain fever. comicbooks.com