Judge, 1911-10-28 · page 10 of 24
Judge — October 28, 1911 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"The Debutante"** mocks a young woman entering society who is oblivious to major news (reciprocity trade issues, a comet, the Tripoli conflict) because she's preoccupied with her social debut. **"Mysteries of the Toilet"** is a servant-gossip exchange where a maid suggests her employer wears extensive undergarments to create the illusion of having a figure—a joke about fashion, body image, and class pretension. **"They're Off!"** satirizes the horse show as a social event where the actual horses are incidental. Ladies in boxes scrutinize rivals while smiling insincerely; male spectators calculate women's fortunes; horses are cramped and uncomfortable. The poem concludes that perhaps the *public* is "off" (foolish) for participating in this theatrical vanity. The rural humor pieces ("Basswood Bugle," "Lost Their Form") use small-town dialect for gentle jokes about local characters and events. The overall tone: urban sophistication mocking itself and rural simplicity with gentle mockery.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Debutante. By GRACE McRINSTRY. 'HE end of reciprocity, The comet's great velocity, The Tripoli atrocity Don't worry her a bit. Nor any news-variety, Because, with great propriety, She’s entering so-ciety, And just now she is ‘‘it."" Mysteries of the Toilet. eT ELL ME,” slyly asks the local gos- sip, ‘‘hasn’t Mrs. Kittles got skeleton in her closet?"’ “No, mum," replies Mrs. Kittles’s maid. ‘‘But she’s got a world o’ things to put on under her clo’es 20's folks won't know she’s nothin’ but a skeleton herself." A LEANING TOWARD GRAND OPERA. Note to Correspondent. O, GEORGE, we do not feel inclined t> accept your article on ‘‘The State of Canada."' They are so sensi- tive on the subject over the border that we are constrained to inform you that there is no State of Canada. She isa Dominion. Notes from the Basswood Bugle. By ROY K. MOULTON. HE new bartend- er at the Golden Nugget makesadrink which he calls a puss cafe, and when a fel- ler drinks one he thinks he has got nine lives all at once. The Ladies‘ Aid has notified our drug- gist to stop sellin’ chocolate Sundays at his ice-cream sody- water fountain. They say if he sells it six days a week it ought to be enough. Cal Prouty had his mule shod t'other day, and Jed Frink, our gentlemanly and congenial blacksmith who did the job, is enjoyin’ a vacation with three broken ribs and the misery in the spine of his back. Anse Hawkins says when a feller's auto- mobile gits to be six months old it is nine years behind the style. Grandpa Bibbins’s new false teeth don’t fit and he has to fasten ‘em in with chewin’ gum. Doc. Hanks, our local den- tist, says that is what Grandpa gets for sendin’ away to a mail-order house for his teeth. Lost Their Form. First student (at football game)— ‘Why don’t they use the V formation?” Second student—‘‘They lost all their V's on last week's game.’’ “a DIVINITY THAT SHAPES OUR ENDS.” They ‘re Off! (At the Horse Show ) By WILLIAM WALLACE WHITELOCK HEY'RE off! Who's of? Not the ladies Who sit in the boxes in tiers, Consigning their rivals to Hades, With smiles, though in debt to their ears, They’re very much on, as it seemeth, And hark with a low, discreet cough To pleas of devotion with well-schooled emotion— No, certainly they are not off! They're off! Who's off? Not the twit- ting Fine cavaliers in the back row; Behind these same ladies they're sitting, As part of the two-dollar show. They know to the very last penny The fortune of each—so don’t scoff At Charlie and Willie and think they are silly— No, certainly they are not off! They're off! Who's off? Not the horses That stand for the judges to judge, Or show off their paces in limited spaces, So cramped that they hardly can budge. I've often imagined them smiling Or laughing a merry horse loft At all of this folly, this gay melan- choly— Perhaps it’s the public that’s off! Many a good duck has died game. fi VIEWS AFOOT IN THE WINDY CITY. comicbooks.com é