Judge, 1911-10-21 · page 12 of 24
Judge — October 21, 1911 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains several light humor pieces typical of early 20th-century American comedy: **"Going to the Horse Show with Polly"** is a romantic poem about a suitor accompanying his romantic interest to a prestigious horse show—a fashionable social event. The joke is that while Polly is genuinely interested in the horses, the narrator is primarily focused on winning her affection, hoping the exciting atmosphere might prompt her to accept his marriage proposal. **"Horse-show Acrostic"** satirizes the pretentiousness of horse-show attendees: their expensive horses, overdressed appearance, and affected manners. **"Correct Dress"** mocks nobility who wear formal robes at public events, suggesting such costume-wearing is ridiculous and outdated. The remaining pieces—"New College Yell," "Girl Friends," "Bill Collectors," and "Thoroughbreds"—are brief comedic observations about contemporary social life. The page reflects *Judge*'s focus on gentle social satire targeting upper-class conventions and behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Going to the Horse Show with Polly. Horse-show Acrostic. By ELIZABETH PENN THORNE. Haindsciaa wareee! OLLY 'S adorable. Overanxious owners, entrancingly sweet! Resplendent robes, Every so often finds Speculative sirs, meat her feet, Elegant equipages. Ardent and pleading Social sanction, as lover could be, Huge hats, Ey) Yet l can't get her to Occasional ‘ostlers, 4 \EL] say Yes" to me! Winsome women. <“} We're always togeth- er, and people have said They rather conclude it is my wish to Correct Dress. wed! ‘ I fancy they're right, but that’s not the ake ee parte thing; ida If Polly would ‘‘fancy’’ me, I'd get the you say that it is correct ring. , for royalties to wear royal I take her all over—that is, when she'll gowns at public functions; 803 ‘ But of all that we do, I like best the but foraknight of the bath horse show. to wear either a bath-robe ora knight-gown at court Polly goes for the horses—that I know would hardly be de wriggle. well; : And I go to be with her, for one never can tell, New College Yell. Perhaps, when she’s trying some winner AH! Rah! Rah! fo guess; fait . Rush! Crush! Groans! She might get excited, forget, and say Mud! Thud! Blood! “Yes”! And a lot 0’ broken bones! To the pets of the tan-bark she is loyal and true, And if she were judging she’d use yards Girl Friends. of blue. a : She watches each class, from ‘“A’?dowa Bell — “I turned down ——= to '*Z,"" the gas andJack proposed.”* SSF And the merest of glances must satisfy Stell —‘‘Really! I simply * WET WITHOUT, DRY WITHIN. me; turned down Jack.” Deacon Wayout—"* How somethin’ thet 's wet kin be dry at But—it’s a safe wager, though awards _ th’ same time is a puzzler to me."” make a stir, That I'll simply remember I went there BALD head often shel- LITTLE jackass, now and then, with her! ters a fertile brain. Reminds a fellow of some men. Bill Collectors. By ELLIS O. JONES. LESSED are the bill collectors, for they keep things moving. Man, left to himself, is naturally lazy. He dawdles and procrasti- nates and asks what’s the use. He keeps on dawdling and procras- tinating and asking what’s the use until the bill collector knocks at the door. Then he realizes that something must be done. His pleasant ‘‘what’s the use’’ philoso- phy is forgotten and he busies him- self about the tasks that await him. He keeps at it until he sat- isfies the bill collector. Then he goes back to his philosophy. Blessed are the bill collectors, for they shall get action. Thoroughbreds, OLLY was a blooded mare, Polly was a lady fair— And the way each tossed her head A MILITARY PARADE IN VENICE. Marked her for a thoroughbred! comicbooks.com