Judge, 1911-10-14 · page 13 of 23
Judge — October 14, 1911 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects several short humorous pieces satirizing early 20th-century American life: **Top cartoon**: Silhouettes show a man's daily routine, mocking domestic life and relationships. **"Where She Will Draw the Line"**: Satirizes the women's suffrage/rights movement. It jokes that while women may adopt masculine behaviors (riding astride, abandoning hairstyles), they'll never fully abandon femininity—a skeptical comment on women's liberation. **"All the News That's Fit To Print"**: Mocks sensationalist newspapers filled with crime, scandal, and divorces—suggesting modern journalism is depressing garbage. **"Ready"**: A politician boasts he's "prepared" for electoral defeat because corruption has made him wealthy—cynical commentary on political corruption. **Other shorts**: "His Eccentricity," "Space Lacking," and "Tonic"/"No Thanks" are brief wordplay jokes about absurdity. **"Four Little Tales"**: Dark humor about new technology (flying machines, automobiles, motor boats) killing their enthusiastic owners—reflecting early anxiety about dangerous modern inventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE DAILY AFFAIRS OF A SINGLE MAN. mt Where She Will Draw the Line. we By 8. B RISER MAN may some day decide To usurp proud man’s position; She already rides astride And laments her own condition. It may be that she will peel Off her foolish braids and switches, But it’s pretty sure that she'll Never wear man’s riding breeches. All the News That's Fit To Print. By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS. J DON’T read the papers, because am thinkin’ That style of diversion would drive me to drinkin’, Filled up as they are with crimes, murders, dis- asters, Elopéments, divorces, and johnjacobastors. Ready. “MY FRIEND," said the good deacon, “are you prepared for the wrath to come?" “Yes,"" replied the crooked politician; ‘‘I've got enough to keep me in easy circumstances all my life. Now, let the voters snow me under as soon as they like.’” M4’ was doubtless made to wait on woman, but most of us Spend a great part of our lives waiting for her. _—-~- =_— “7 His Eccentricity. «¢QNAGGS is a most eccentric chap!’’ “Yes?” “Sure! He has named his place Pine Terrace."’ “Well, what of it “Why, he has pine trees and a ter- race!" Space Lacking. Reporter—‘I have a story about a woman’s hat."” City editor—‘**We haven't room for any big stories.’’ “AND SEB HERE, WAITER, THE BILL OP PARE READS, ‘HALP BROILED CHICKEN.’ 1 DON’? WANT IT THAT WAY. HAVE IT WELL DONE.” “Tonic?” “No, Thanks!” HE BALD barber had just straight- ened the bald customer in the chair. The conversation had drifted to hair. “‘Which,’’ observed the bald barber jocularly, ‘‘seems to be a matter that is neither here nor there.”” Four Little Tales. By ELLIS PARKER BUTLER Darius Green 1 Darius Green Bought a flying machine. m And gasoline. mt. Now his grave is green. Ichabod Head. 1 Ichabod Head Bought a motor car red. u. “Oh, joy!"' he said. i. He’s dead; quite dead. Artemus Blim. 1. Artemus Blim Bought a motor boat slim. t. But he could not swim. ut. Let us weep for him. Wise Xerxes Bash. 1 Wise Xerxes Bash Did nothing rash. 1. A Choked to death on hash. mm. “Dust to dust; ash to ash.’” comicbooks.com